Cronos: Dawn Breaks, Switch 2 Shakes (and Probably Still Fakes)
Oh, sweet gamers, prepare yourselves for the most thrilling, groundbreaking, and totally-not-derivative experience of the decade! Cronos: The New Dawn,…
Tag: Space
Is This the Dawn of Digital VIP Loyalty or Just Another Overhyped Fad?
Oh, honey, listen up! 💅 Apparently, online entertainment platforms are *totally* over those basic loyalty programs. They’re now building these…
Cronos: New Yawn is a Super Slow, Extra Brutal Fight for Survival — and I’m a Sucker
Oh boy, another Bloober Team game! 🙄 From the first teasers of Cronos: The New Dawn, it looked like a…
Avatar 3: Electric Boogaloo – James Cameron’s Back for More Blue Cat Shenanigans
Oh, joy! Another trip to Pandora! 🙄 Because we DEFINITELY didn’t have enough blue cat people the first two times.…
Puscifer Drops a Retrospective Album So You Can Pretend You’ve Been a Fan All Along
PUSCIFER, the pretentious art-rock collective fronted by wine-slinging overlord Maynard James Keenan, along with his sidekicks Mat Mitchell and Carina…
FROM ASHES TO NEW Coughs Up Generic Single ‘New Disease’
Ah, FROM ASHES TO NEW, those purveyors of… something or other, are back with a track so profound, so earth-shattering,…
HELLOWEEN Drops ‘Universe (Gravity For Hearts)’ – Because Apparently Pumpkins in Space Aren’t Weird Enough on ‘Giants & Monsters’ Album
Oh great, the geriatric metalheads HELLOWEEN are back to grace us with their presence (and another album we totally asked…
Three Days of Torture Grace Releases New Single ‘Kill Me Quickly Please’ From Forthcoming ‘I Promise It’s Not About Aliens’ Album
Oh. My. Gawd. 🙄 Look what we have here, folks! It’s THREE DAYS GRACE, back at it again, releasing “Kill…
Deftones Announce 2025 Edition Of ‘Dia De Los Deftones’ Festival (aka the only day Deftones fans get sunlight)
DEFTONES, the band that peaked in 2000 but refuses to accept it, have announced yet another installment of their vanity…
FEMA Dude Throws in Towel After Texas Flood Response Debacle: CNN Politics
Another Deep State operative bites the dust! This so-called “head” of FEMA’s Urban Search and Rescue branch, Ken Pagurek, conveniently…