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Tag: Update

Events

Knitting History Forum 2026 conference seeks paper proposals on the riveting evolution of yarn

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 18, 2026

Get ready to click ‘Join Meeting’ on Saturday 7 February 2026 for the Knitting History Forum Annual Online Conference. 🧶…

KONAMI Finally Realizes Manchester United Is A Competitive Campaign All On Its Own In eFootball
Breaking, Games News

KONAMI Finally Realizes Manchester United Is A Competitive Campaign All On Its Own In eFootball

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 17, 2026January 17, 2026

🤯 eFootball’s Latest Manchester United Campaign: Your Golden Ticket to Digital Glory and Infinite Disappointment! 🤯 Oh, rejoice, ye digital…

The Sims 4 Officially Announces The “Pay 40 Dollars to Bow Down to a Digital Duke” Update
Breaking, Games News

The Sims 4 Officially Announces The “Pay 40 Dollars to Bow Down to a Digital Duke” Update

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 16, 2026January 16, 2026

Throw away your microwave dinners and peasant-grade furniture, because The Sims 4 has finally decided that your Sims are too…

Events

Directive 2006/42/CE vs EU Regulation 2023/1230: Unbelievable bureaucratic speed only took 17 years to update machine safety

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 16, 2026

On January 20, 2027, the EU will finally force your machines to behave. 🤖 Get ready for the “Machine Safety”…

Former Great White Hopefuls Release Video for ‘Rockin’ Like The 80’s’ Because Apparently 2024 Is The New 1987
Breaking, Music News

Former Great White Hopefuls Release Video for ‘Rockin’ Like The 80’s’ Because Apparently 2024 Is The New 1987

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 15, 2026January 15, 2026

Hold onto your hairspray and dust off that old Spandex, because the 80s hair metal ghost-riding train just left the…

Pentagon Spends $125 Million to Prove They’re Still in the Business of Killing People
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pentagon Spends $125 Million to Prove They’re Still in the Business of Killing People

Big ElephantJanuary 15, 2026January 15, 2026

CNN is crying crocodile tears over President Trump’s brilliant rebranding of the Pentagon to the Department of War, claiming it…

Animal Crossing: New Horizons Players Hacked Their Switches to Skip the Line for the 3.0 Update Starting Today
Breaking, Games News

Animal Crossing: New Horizons Players Hacked Their Switches to Skip the Line for the 3.0 Update Starting Today

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 14, 2026January 14, 2026

Strap in, you glorified digital hermits, because your overlords at Nintendo have decided to grace your Switch with the 3.0…

Helldivers 2: The Redacted Regiment Declares War on PTSD, One C4 Brick at a Time
Breaking, Games News

Helldivers 2: The Redacted Regiment Declares War on PTSD, One C4 Brick at a Time

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 13, 2026January 13, 2026

🚨 ATTENTION, CITIZENS OF SUPER EARTH! 🚨 Put down that Libert-Tea and listen up! The Ministry of Truth (and Explosions)…

The 16 Shows We’ll Pretend to Care About in 2026
Breaking, Movie News

The 16 Shows We’ll Pretend to Care About in 2026

FinnJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: THE TV INDUSTRY IS STILL ALIVE, AND IT’S HERE TO STEAL YOUR SOUL ONE BINGE-WATCH AT A…

The Elder Scrolls Online Announces 2026 Seasonal Model Because Paying for One Expansion Was Clearly Too Easy
Breaking, Games News

The Elder Scrolls Online Announces 2026 Seasonal Model Because Paying for One Expansion Was Clearly Too Easy

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: The Elder Scrolls Online Just Dumped Its Entire Identity and Replaced It With a Loot Box Casino 🎰💥…

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  • ’60 Minutes’ Begins Search For New Pompous Blowhard
  • When You Get the Right Uber Driver 🤘

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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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