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Tag: Whiplash

AI stocks tanking again because tech bubble popping maybe
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

AI stocks tanking again because tech bubble popping maybe

Big ElephantJune 26, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the tech stock traders who are getting a little testy about the high…

TIM ‘RIPPER’ OWENS Exposes Brutal Truth That Your Uncle’s Favorite Band Is Judas Priest
Breaking, Music News

TIM ‘RIPPER’ OWENS Exposes Brutal Truth That Your Uncle’s Favorite Band Is Judas Priest

Chord F. DiscordJune 24, 2026June 24, 2026

Oh great, because what the world really needed was another rant from Tim “Ripper” Owens about Judas Priest not streaming…

Whiplash at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/23/2026, Day 3)
Videos

Whiplash at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/23/2026, Day 3)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 25, 2026

American thrash metal from Passaic, New Jersey Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The…

HALESTORM’s LZZY HALE Totally Not Freaking Out About Touring With BABYMETAL Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong With That
Breaking, Music News

HALESTORM’s LZZY HALE Totally Not Freaking Out About Touring With BABYMETAL Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong With That

Chord F. DiscordMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic tour announcement ever? 🤩🎸 HALESTORM is hitting the road with…

Fortnite Chapter Updates Are Changing the Game Again Because You Weren’t Already Completely Sick of It Yet
Breaking, Games News

Fortnite Chapter Updates Are Changing the Game Again Because You Weren’t Already Completely Sick of It Yet

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 21, 2026April 21, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some serious Fortnite drama? 🤯 The game that’s been around for what feels…

Nicolas Cage is Back to Ruin Spider-Noir Like Only He Can
Breaking, Movie News

Nicolas Cage is Back to Ruin Spider-Noir Like Only He Can

FinnFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Oh great, another day, another Spider-Man spin-off nobody asked for—but this time, Nicolas Cage is swinging in like a drunken…

Pro-Shot Video Of METAL ALLEGIANCE And Their Surprise Guests From MASTODON And SEPULTURA Finally Nail That One Metallica Song You Knew They’d Do
Breaking, Music News

Pro-Shot Video Of METAL ALLEGIANCE And Their Surprise Guests From MASTODON And SEPULTURA Finally Nail That One Metallica Song You Knew They’d Do

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

Attention, metalheads and headbangers: A legendary jam session just hit YouTube, and it’s basically a superhero team-up—if superheroes played shred-tastic…

Holy Wordplay, Batman! DC Just Hired a Writer to Ruin Robin
Breaking, Movie News

Holy Wordplay, Batman! DC Just Hired a Writer to Ruin Robin

FinnJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Hold onto your cowls, DC fanboys, because the Bat-Signal is flashing twice and it’s strobing like a rave in Arkham…

The OG Slipknot Vocalist Anders Colsefni Is Going To Iowa To Scream About Eating Flesh And Murdering People For Fun, Apparently
Breaking, Music News

The OG Slipknot Vocalist Anders Colsefni Is Going To Iowa To Scream About Eating Flesh And Murdering People For Fun, Apparently

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

🎉 BREAKING NEWS: The Ghost of Slipknot Past is Back, and He’s Brought a Crowzade! 🎉 Let the 666 Days…

EXODUS Finds Brand New, Unheard-of Way to Write Riffs, Names Band After a Big Guy
Breaking, Music News

EXODUS Finds Brand New, Unheard-of Way to Write Riffs, Names Band After a Big Guy

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

Hold onto your studded leather jackets and prepare your necks for the ultimate whiplash, because the thrash titans known as…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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