‘Star Wars’ Unwatchable Original Cut Resurrected For 50th Anniversary To Torture Fans
Oh, sweet Galaxy Far, Far Away, it’s been, like, half a freakin’ century since that little indie flick called Star…
Day: December 5, 2025
LIONS AT THE GATE (LOL!) Drops New Single ‘Burn The Candle’ (Cuz They’re Totally Lit, Am I Right?) Feat. Ex-ILL NIÑO & MACHINE HEAD Guys (Who???)
LIONS AT THE GATE, the supergroup 🙄 featuring ex-ILL NIÑO rejects Cristian Machado (still screaming into the void), Ahrue “Luster”…
Netflix Gambles $72 Billion on Entertainment’s Next Big Flop
Netflix, that bastion of leftist Hollywood values, is buying Warner Bros. and HBO for a measly $72 billion. Can you…
Avengers: Endgame Returns to Theaters to Distract You From Impending Doom
OMG! 😱 Did you hear the earth-shattering news? Avengers: Endgame, the movie that made you cry harder than when your…
Quentin Tarantino Slams Paul Dano As Worst Actor On Wikifeet
LOS ANGELES—In a shockingly personal attack on the actor’s arches, filmmaker Quentin Tarantino made comments Friday slamming Paul Dano…
Jehovah’s Witness Family Takes Drive To Look At All The Houses With No Christmas Lights
PASADENA, CA — A family of Jehovah’s Witnesses continued their annual tradition of piling into the car and going…
Malaysia Bans Social Media For Children Under 16
Starting in 2026, Malaysia will ban social media accounts for anyone under 16, joining other countries such as Australia…
Korn Drummer’s Studio: Prepare for Disappointment
KORN‘s Ray Luzier, the dude who hits things for a living, just dropped a THIRTEEN-MINUTE video showcasing his “Lose Yer…
Taylor Swift Hoping Travis Kelce Forgot They’re Engaged
KANSAS CITY, MO — Rumors swirled that the Kansas City Chiefs’ disappointing season had led one of the world’s…
Game Of Monopoly Narrowly Avoided
CAMILLA, GA — A routine family game night almost ended in disaster after a young child asked to play…