ALERT: ALIENS INVADE EL PASO AT 11:11! 🛸👽
WASTED PRESENTS: ATLIENS are landing at an undisclosed location on Feb 7! 🎉
– 18+ only (aliens welcome, no ID required)
– Dress code: Spacesuits or festival attire (glow sticks optional)
– Doors open 8PM-2AM (probably won’t leave until abducted)
– Bottle service available (for humans who need liquid courage)
Absolutely no refunds (even if the mothership doesn’t show up)! 😂
Follow us @WASTEDPRESENTS for updates on humanity’s inevitable takeover! 👽🚀
Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
