NEW YORK—Growing increasingly indignant with each passing possession, President Donald Trump reportedly spent the first quarter of Monday’s Game 3 of the NBA Finals angrily demanding that Knicks guard Jalen Brunson put on a suit. “You’re telling me this guy is supposed to be the star, yet he goes out on the court wearing, what, his bathing suit?” said Trump, who reportedly leaned over the railing of his private suite and yelled that people had paid good money to attend the game and should not be “forced to look at a grown man’s knees—disgusting!” “No class. Absolutely zero class. If Scotty [Bessent] showed up to work like that, I’d slap him silly. He’d be out of a job. It’s a disgrace. A disgrace to the team, a disgrace to the fans. Someone get [deceased former NBA Commissioner David] Stern on the phone. He can’t just be letting guys dress like maniacs.” Sources confirmed Trump then instructed aides to go down to the court and order Brunson to put on “a collared shirt, a jacket, slacks, and Florsheims,” adding that in all his many years of attending Knicks games, he had never once seen a slob like that allowed onto the court.
The post Trump Angrily Demands Jalen Brunson Put On Suit appeared first on The Onion.
NEW YORK—Growing increasingly indignant with each passing possession, President Donald Trump reportedly spent the first quarter of Monday’s Game 3 of the NBA Finals angrily demanding that Knicks guard Jalen Brunson put on a suit. “You’re telling me this guy is supposed to be the star, yet he goes out on the court wearing, what,
The post Trump Angrily Demands Jalen Brunson Put On Suit appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
