LEAWOOD, KS—Remarking that it seemed “a tad excessive” to own more than a dozen of the recreational bouncing devices, pop star Taylor Swift reportedly urged fiancé Travis Kelce on Thursday to whittle down the number of trampolines on their wedding registry to one. “That’s a lot of trampolines, babe, and you can really only bounce on one at a time,” said Swift, who scrolled through the assortment of indoor and outdoor trampolines with a look of growing apprehension on her face as the Kansas City Chiefs tight end pleaded, “Come on, babe, 13 trampolines—it’s your favorite number!” “Hmm, it looks like you added both the Jumpflex Hero and the Jumpflex Mega. Is there really a difference between the two? I get that making one floor of our house nothing but trampolines would be fun, but how often do you think we’d really use that? No, Trav, they can’t be tax write-offs. That’s not how that works… Okay, fine, but can you at least cut it down to three?” At press time, sources said Kelce was vehemently arguing that a bouncy house didn’t count as a trampoline.
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LEAWOOD, KS—Remarking that it seemed “a tad excessive” to own more than a dozen of the recreational bouncing devices, pop star Taylor Swift reportedly urged fiancé Travis Kelce on Thursday to whittle down the number of trampolines on their wedding registry to one. “That’s a lot of trampolines, babe, and you can really only bounce on
The post Taylor Swift Urges Travis Kelce To Whittle Down Trampolines On Registry To One appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.