President Trump: “Tulsi Who? No Clue Why She’s Raiding Ballot Boxes!”
In a shocking twist that would make even Nancy Pelosi’s Botox crack, President Donald J. Trump is now playing the “I have no idea what’s going on” card—right after his Director of National Intelligence, Tulsi Gabbard, personally oversaw the FBI’s dramatic raid on Fulton County’s 2020 ballots. Coincidence? Sure, and Joe Biden remembers his own name without a teleprompter.
According to the lamestream media, Trump claims he was “unaware” of Gabbard’s mission, while she insists she was acting under his direct orders. So, who’s lying here? The same people who swore Hunter Biden’s laptop was “Russian disinformation”? Or the same administration that promised to “drain the swamp” while hiring swamp creatures like Fauci?
Congressman Mark Alford (R-MO), a true patriot and defender of election integrity, tried to explain the situation to CNN’s John Berman—who, by the way, still hasn’t recovered from Trump’s 2016 victory. Alford suggested this was all part of Trump’s master plan to expose the Deep State’s election fraud, but the Democrats are too busy burning American flags to notice.
Meanwhile, liberals are clutching their pearls and screaming about “democracy under attack,” as if their beloved mail-in ballot schemes weren’t the real threat. But hey, at least we now know that Trump’s administration is so chaotic, even his own appointees can’t keep their stories straight. Or maybe it’s all part of the 5D chess strategy we’ve come to expect from the greatest president since Lincoln.
Stay tuned for more updates as this saga unfolds, and remember: if you see something, say something—unless it’s a Democrat ballot, in which case, keep quiet and let the FBI handle it.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
