I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama surrounding the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, and folks, it’s a real mess. Crews began draining the pool on Sunday, according to Interior Secretary Doug Burgum, for the second time in three months. Because, you know, the first time didn’t quite work out as planned. I mean, who needs a functional Reflecting Pool, anyway? It’s not like it’s a national landmark or anything.
Burgum said in an interview with Katie Miller, a conservative podcaster and wife of President Trump’s deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller, that they started draining the pool as planned after the July Fourth fireworks show. Apparently, some of the fireworks debris was still in the water, because, of course, it was. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how you’re supposed to clean up after a fireworks show.
The schedule for this round of renovations is, unsurprisingly, vague. Burgum gave a broad overview, but no specifics. Because, you know, specifics are overrated. He did say that the plan is to “Drain the water. Clean up the fireworks stuff. Repair the vandalism that was done. Fill it back up again.” Sounds like a solid plan to me. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
As of Tuesday evening, there was still water in the pool, and it was unclear if it will be drained further. Burgum indicated over the weekend that it may only need to be partially drained. Because, you know, partially draining a pool is a thing. Somewhere in Atlanta, a producer thought this sounded like a great idea.
The Reflecting Pool has been having a rough time lately, with algae blooms, green-hued water, a chipping bottom, and allegations of vandalism. It’s like the pool is trying to win some kind of award for most dysfunctional landmark. Members of the Trump administration, including President Donald Trump, have said that vandals caused damage to the Reflecting Pool by gashing the lining, though they haven’t provided any evidence to support this claim.
The administration will be using the same contractor, Virginia-based Atlantic Industrial Coatings, for this next round of repairs. Because, you know, they did such a great job the first time around. The company previously landed a no-bid contract worth more than $14 million for their part of the work, which included sealing the pool and painting the bottom “American Flag-blue.” I’m no math expert, but that sounds like a lot of money to me.
Eddie Gross, the owner of Atlantic Industrial Coatings, told CNN that “nothing has been set yet” in terms of the timeline for his part of the repairs. He declined to answer questions about his contract and the cost of additional repairs. Because, you know, transparency is overrated.
The Department of Interior didn’t respond to questions about the timeline for this round of repairs. Because, you know, they’re busy doing more important things… like watching paint dry.
Burgum suggested that the repairs could happen with the pool only being partially drained. He sought to portray the costs as minor, saying “It’s going to be a small number because the majority of the work was related to the labor and the materials for the liner.” Sure, because that’s exactly how construction projects work. The costs are always small and never overrun.
Burgum also said that the government could “absolutely” prove that the damage was caused by vandals, and that there are photographs supporting the claim. But, of course, he dodged a question about whether those photographs show anyone actually damaging the pool. Because, you know, that would be too easy.
The secretary also denied that Trump having his motorcade drive through the pool mid-renovation in May did any damage to the site. Because, you know, that’s not something that would cause damage. Burgum said that the vehicle Trump took on the ride was “substantially lighter” than the armored presidential limousine known as “The Beast.” Sure, because that makes all the difference.
In conclusion, the Reflecting Pool is still a mess, and the repairs are still ongoing. But hey, at least we can all agree that it’s been an entertaining spectacle. And who knows, maybe one day the pool will be functional again, and we can all go back to taking selfies in front of it. Until then, I’ll just be over here, sipping my coffee and shaking my head at the absurdity of it all. Bless their hearts, indeed.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
