So, like, get this: 🙄 on Saturday, November 1st (as if you care about dates), Ivan Moody and Zoltan Bathory of FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, those dudes who still think Tapout shirts are cool, decided to grace BABYMETAL, those cute Japanese metal gremlins, at their SOLD-OUT Intuit Dome show in Los Angeles. Why? Because their collab single, “The End” (ironic, right?), somehow clawed its way to Number 1 on the Japanese iTunes Metal chart. And, OMG, it even hit Number 18 on the Japanese All-Genres chart.
A LANDMARK ACHIEVEMENT, people. For an international rock release. Yeah, sure. In Japan, which is basically a different planet when it comes to music taste. 🚀 But wait, there’s more! It’s also “making history” in the US because it’s the first song with Japanese lyrics to chart at U.S. Rock radio. Top 5, no less! So, obviously, there was a plaque presentation, because nothing screams “rock ‘n’ roll” like a bunch of dudes in their 40s holding a shiny piece of plastic. They confirmed that music is “universal”, which is a profound statement coming from a band who probably thinks “universal healthcare” is communism. 😂
Bathory, aka the guy who looks like he got lost on his way to a LARP convention, says: “This was, like, SO AMAZING, dude, to celebrate our song hitting the charts.” Yeah, because nothing is more amazing than validating your existence through iTunes charts in Japan. “We’re working on our tenth studio album right now,” he continues, as if anyone asked, “and with the 20th-anniversary world tour coming up…” because, let’s be real, who wouldn’t want to celebrate two decades of generic arena rock? “We were already planning to go back to Japan… a place that’s always shown us so much love.” Probably because they think you’re exotic or something. 🤔 “But with how well this song connected there, let’s just say the story might not be over yet. Who knows… maybe we’ll even share a stage with BABYMETAL.” Oh god, please no. The cringe would be unbearable. “Life’s a wild chain of coincidences, and sometimes the next chapter just writes itself.” Or maybe you’re just desperately trying to stay relevant, Zoltan. Just a thought. 🤷
BABYMETAL’s Su-Metal, the poor girl who’s probably contractually obligated to pretend to like these guys, shares: “We were invited to take part in a 20th-anniversary collaboration project featuring guest artists on past songs.” Translation: Our record label thought it would be hilarious to pair us with these dinosaurs. “FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH and BABYMETAL had performed at the same festival overseas back in 2015, so I was really happy thinking they might have remembered me from then.” Aww, bless her heart. She thinks Ivan Moody remembers what he had for breakfast. “I sang Japanese lyrics inspired by the original lyrics of ‘The End’ and spent a lot of time experimenting to find the voice that best fit such a deep, cool track.” Deep and cool? Really? I bet she was being sarcastic. “My favorite moment is the flow from ‘Negai o kakete’ into the break, where my voice is gradually engulfed by Ivan’s growl – it gave me chills. I hope listeners feel that too.” Yeah, chills of horror, maybe. 😬
FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, those paragons of originality, are celebrating their 20th anniversary with the release of two definitive greatest-hits collections: “Best Of – Volume 1” (released in July) and “Best Of – Volume 2” (out today). Because who wouldn’t want to relive two decades of the same song, just slightly different? Both albums feature newly re-recorded versions of FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH’s biggest anthems, created in response to the sale of the original song masters – made without the band’s knowledge or opportunity to reclaim them. Oh no, poor babies! Did someone sell your songs without asking? How unfair! Maybe you should have read the fine print. 🙄
Instead of remixing or remastering, FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH turned the setback into a “positive” by fully re-recording fan favorites across two volumes – both as a tribute to the songs and the fans who’ve stood with them over two decades. Because, you know, fans are dumb enough to buy the same songs twice. While “honoring the originals” (by making them sound exactly the same), the band brings “renewed intensity” to tracks like “Sham Pain,” “Blue On Black,” “Trouble,” and “Burn MF.” Those song titles alone should be enough to disqualify them from being considered “music.” Together, the two collections pay respect to the past while reintroducing the music for a new era. Translation: we’re hoping to trick a new generation of teenagers into thinking we’re cool. “Best Of – Volume 2” includes 16 re-recorded classics plus three previously unreleased live versions of “Wash It All Away,” “Wrong Side Of Heaven,” and “Jekyll and Hyde.” Wow, three whole unreleased tracks! Groundbreaking. 😒
Earlier this year, “Best Of – Volume 1” led with the 2025 version of “I Refuse” featuring Maria Brink of IN THIS MOMENT, which hit Number 1 on the rock charts in July. Which, let’s be honest, says more about the state of rock music than anything else. With over 13 billion streams, countless Number 1 hits, and multiple gold and platinum awards, FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH remains one of the 21st century’s most dominant rock acts. According to who? Their moms? Let’s be real, they’re the Nickelback of the 2020s. 🤣
“Best Of – Volume 1” and “Best Of – Volume 2” are available worldwide in multiple formats, including standard CD and vinyl, a limited-edition CD exclusive to Walmart, multiple collectible vinyl editions available at Best Buy, Walmart, the FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH webstore, indie retail, and a Revolver magazine exclusive. Because nothing says “rock and roll” like selling your music at Walmart. 🤘
To commemorate FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH’s 20th anniversary, a special merchandise collection is also available now in the official webstore. Get your very own overpriced t-shirt and pretend you actually like this band! 🤡
Photo credit: Sarai Kelley (who probably deserves hazard pay for having to photograph these guys)
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