Ignacia Fernández, a 27-year-old *model* (we use that term loosely) who also fronts the earth-shatteringly obscure Chilean “progressive” death metal band DECESSUS, decided to grace the Miss World Chile 2025 (Spanish: Miss Mundo Chile, which sounds way more intimidating) semifinal last Sunday (November 2) with her… talents. Let’s just say it involved “singing” a death metal song. 🎤💀 We’re not sure if it was a performance or an auditory assault, but whatever.
Fernández, bless her heart, is not just any Miss World Chile 2025 contestant; she’s representing the prestigious (snort) Las Condes district. Her ultimate goal? To become Miss Universe. Because, obviously, the universe is just *dying* for some death metal representation. 👽🤘
For her grand performance, she chose one of DECESSUS‘s original ear-bleeders, all while rocking a ball gown. Yes, you read that right. Think beauty pageant meets… well, something truly hideous. She even dragged along her bandmate, guitarist Carlos Palma, who probably regretted his life choices that day. 🤔
The audience and judges were, understandably, “taken aback.” In other words, they probably thought they’d accidentally wandered into the wrong dimension. But then, something magical happened: a standing ovation! One judge, probably delirious from the sheer absurdity of it all, claimed he’d “never seen anything like it.” We bet. 🤪
Her performance secured her a coveted spot among the top 20 finalists. The final showdown is this Sunday, November 9. Place your bets now on whether she’ll unleash more sonic chaos or attempt something resembling actual singing. 😈
DECESSUS, formed in the dark ages of 2020, also features drummer Martín Fénix and bassist Jaime Pepe. They’ve had the “honor” of opening for bands like INSOMNIUM and JINJER. They’ve also graced festivals in Finland and Germany, and even opened for EPICA in Santiago. (Someone clearly has a soft spot for questionable metal.) 🤦♀️
In an interview with the Chilean newspaper Las Últimas Noticias, Ignacia confessed her nervousness about public reaction. “Television lends itself to people making memes and making fun of you,” she said. (Too late!) “The song I sang is by my band. It’s my job, my life.” Well, good luck with *that* career path. 🤷♀️
Despite the potential for ridicule, she received “positive” feedback. Or, at least, that’s what she tells herself. We suspect a lot of pity claps were involved. 👏
Regarding her vocal care, Fernández claims to have “studied for more than two years.” She has an ENT specialist and a speech therapist who monitor her. She warms up for 15-30 minutes. All that effort for *that* sound? What a waste. 😫
Fernández, a native of Santiago, Chile, juggles her modeling career (started in 2013) with her “passion” for extreme music. Which is like saying someone has a passion for dental surgery. 😖
According to her social media, metal “has been a fundamental part” of her identity, a “refuge, a source of strength and purpose.” We’re not sure what kind of refuge involves guttural screams, but okay. 🙄
The appearance of a death metal singer in a beauty pageant has “sparked a debate” about stereotypes, according to El Independiente newspaper. Fernández believes she’s “breaking down barriers” and defying prejudices. Or, you know, just being incredibly weird. 👽
Fernández is aiming for the Miss World Chile crown with “clear objectives.” “I’m not trying to fit in. I’m trying to show myself as I am,” she declared. And she succeeded… in making everyone question reality. 😵💫 This death metal diva is the only Miss World Chile content we needed! 💅🔥
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
