Unpopular Pete Hegseth Forced To Drink Lunch Alone
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Looking around with despair as he searched for an open seat in the Pentagon cafeteria, U.S. Secretary of…
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Fine Young Cannibals, bless their hearts, are *still* trying to relive their 80s glory with “anniversary” shows – as if anyone remembers them 👴👵😂.
OMG! 🙄 Roland Gift, bless his cotton socks, is STILL milking the Fine Young Cannibals cow 🐄! Apparently, it’s been…
Exodus Guitarist Dares to Have an Opinion on Metallica, Instigating Metalhead Civil War 🤘🔥😂.
Oh, for the love of Lars! 🙄 Another “expert” weighs in on the eternal METALLICA debate. Radioactive MikeZ, bless his…
Christianity Today: ‘Jesus May Not Have Existed And The Bible Is A Lie And God Is Dead’
CAROL STREAM, IL — An article published by Christianity Today calls into question the existence of Jesus, argues that the…
Bless his cotton socks, Def Leppard’s Rick Allen *still* hasn’t found the “Pour Some Sugar On Me” for his PTSD after some random dude’s epic fail in basic human decency 🙄 🥁 🙏
So, apparently, Rick Allen, the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard, is STILL whining about getting roughed up outside a Florida…
‘Andor’ Season 2: More beige rebellion? 😴 Buckle up for another gritty, thrilling, *totally* essential chapter in the Star Wars saga you definitely asked for. 😉
So, ‘Andor’ Season 2 got a whopping 9 out of 10 stars, huh? 🙄 Guess Disney finally learned how to…
Catholic Church To Consider Electing Pope Who’s A Catholic This Time
VATICAN CITY — Following the death of Pope Francis, cardinals within the Roman Catholic Church have expressed interest in electing…
Sammy Hagar’s releasing a new song called “Encore, Thank You, Goodnight,” because apparently, he hasn’t said enough about Eddie Van Halen yet 🙄🎤🎸🔥.
🚨🚨🚨 RED ALERT! The Red Rocker, Sammy Hagar, is BACK…again! 🙄 This time, he’s gracing us with a new single,…
Dalai Lama Quietly Cancels Scheduled Meeting With JD Vance
DHARAMSHALA — After the sad news broke that Pope Francis had passed away just hours after meeting the U.S. Vice…
Colossal Squid Caught On Camera In Deep Sea For First Time
Read MoreThe OnionThe colossal squid, the heaviest invertebrate in the world, was captured on video swimming in the deep sea…