Terrifier Goes Disney?đđ Damien Leone Says His Creepy CGI Gnomes Were Hijacked!
Damien Leone, the audacious director behind the cult slasher hit Terrifier, is accusing none other than Disney of swiping his…
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Prosecutors Warn Daniel Penny Acquittal Could Lead To Rampant Acts Of Heroism
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South Korean President Faces Impeachment After Declaring Martial Law
    Read MoreThe OnionSouth Koreaâs President Yoon Suk Yeol faced parliamentary moves to impeach him after sending heavily armed forces into…
13 More People Biden Is Considering Pardoning
President Joe Biden has been under fire this week for pardoning his son, Hunter, leaving political experts and the general…
Notre-Dame Reopened To Fire
    Read MoreThe OnionPARISâAfter five years of painstaking reconstruction, the famed Notre-Dame cathedral reportedly reopened Friday to fire. âAs a key…
Cunning Adam Casually Suggests Eve Try Shorter Haircut
EDEN â The local man who had been given dominion over the earth reportedly attempted to raise the temperature in…
Study: 100% Of Your ‘Super Smash Bros.’ Losses Are Because You Had The Bad Controller
U.S. â According to the findings of a groundbreaking new study, 100% of your Super Smash Bros. losses only happened…
‘Pete Hegseth Is Problematic,’ Says Room Full Of Satanic Pedophiles
WASHINGTON, D.C. â Yet another of President-elect Donald Trump’s cabinet nominees continued to face an uphill battle for conformation from…
New âOdysseyâ Adaptation Criticized For Dropping Originalâs Group Dance Scene Ending
    Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELESâDrawing widespread condemnation from classics scholars around world, the new Odyssey adaptation The Return was criticized this…
Supreme Court Rules 8-1 In Favor Of Taking Turns Bonking Justice Sotomayor On The Head With Their Gavels
WASHINGTON, D.C. â The government’s judicial branch continued to methodically work through remaining cases before the upcoming holiday break, with…