Taxpayer-Funded Illegal Immigrant Gender Surgeon Having A Really Bad Week
CHICAGO, IL — After looking forward to having an exciting and fulfilling 2025, a local taxpayer-funded illegal immigrant gender surgeon…
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Trump Announces Plan To Make California A Part Of The U.S.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Adding to a list of bold initiatives that had included speculative goals to annex Greenland and absorb…
New Death Row Fast Pass Allows Convicts To Skip Execution Line
Read MoreThe OnionMONTGOMERY, AL—Calling it a “revolutionary way” to experience the full wrath of the carceral state, the Alabama Department…
🔥 Jackal.Today Journalists Go on Strike: «Too Much Money, Too Much Freedom — Enough Is Enough!»
The editorial board of Jackal.Today, the beacon of satirical journalism, has staged an indefinite protest until February 3. But this…
10 Tips For Illegals To Avoid ICE
With reports rolling in of widespread panic among the illegal immigrant population of the United States, foreign-born people across the…
Palestinians Return To Devastated Northern Gaza
Read MoreThe OnionHundreds of thousands of Palestinians streamed into Gaza’s most heavily destroyed area after Israel opened the north for…
AirLyft Now Available For Plus-Sized Customers
U.S. — In an attempt to more effectively cater to underserved segments of the population, ridesharing company Lyft introduced a…
‘I Don’t Really Care, Margaret’ Merchandise Sales Expected To Exceed $1 Billion Annually
U.S. — Meme-related revenue was predicted to hit an all-time high by the end of the year, as industry experts…
The First Amendment: Myth VS. Fact
Read MoreThe OnionThe post The First Amendment: Myth VS. Fact appeared first on The Onion.
🚫«Alien: Earth» Leaks Online — Is This the Shortest Series Ever? 🤯
In a hilarious twist of fate that no one saw coming, FX and Hulu accidentally leaked the entirety of their…