Netflix Casts Israeli Actors in Biblical Epic, Internet Calls for «Streamageddon» — Chaos Ensues! 🚫📃
In the latest plot twist that not even the most imaginative streaming showrunner could cook up, the Internet has collectively…
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💀 R.I.P. Steam? 🪦 ADL’s «Final Solution» to Online Hate: Shut It All Down! 💣
In a move that surprises absolutely no one, the perpetually offended professional victims at the Anti-Defamation League (ADL) have turned…
To Protest Coronation Of Aragorn, Orcs Announce Sex Strike
GORGOROTH, MORDOR — Orcs have banded together in protest of King Aragorn following his coronation in Minas Tirith, announcing a…
Taylor Swift Arrested On Weapons Charges After Federal Agents Raid Tour Bus
Read MoreThe OnionFollowing a tense armed standoff with the pop superstar, authorities uncovered a large arsenal of illegal drugs and…
The White Stripes Drop Lawsuit Against Trump: One Nation, One Leader Revamp in the Works? 🤔
In a move that has left music fans and political pundits alike blinking in disbelief, Jack and Meg White —…
«Stuffed With Cash»: The Real Reason Colin Farrell is Back as Penguin – Despite Hating It 😂🚀
Hollywood’s favorite tortured artist, Colin Farrell, is gearing up to slather himself in prosthetics and fury once again as the…
Alex Jones And 10 Other Exciting Trump Cabinet Picks
Donald Trump has been re-elected, and it’s time for Trump to assemble a new team of brilliant minds to serve…
World’s First Wooden Satellite Launched Into Space
Read MoreThe OnionThe world’s first wooden satellite was launched into space in an early test of using timber in lunar…
BREAKING: Arizona Announces They Have Counted Another Ballot
PHOENIX, AZ — Election authorities in Arizona proudly announced today that their round-the-clock efforts have at last resulted in another…
🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!
Hold onto your space helmets, folks! Amazon MGM Studios has decided that saving the galaxy from annihilation wasn’t quite epic…