🎮 Nintendo’s Switch 2: Now With a Frustration Sensor to Mock Your Losses!
Gamers, get ready for the most advanced console experience of your life (and therapy bills): Nintendo’s upcoming Switch 2 is…
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Biden Takes Credit For Developing Dementia So Kamala Would Take His Place And Lose To Trump So Hamas Would Release Hostages
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After news broke that President-elect Donald Trump had successfully brokered a ceasefire agreement between Israel and Hamas,…
How Mark Zuckerberg Is Making Meta More MAGA-Friendly
Read MoreThe OnionMeta founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg has made a major right-wing pivot, including adding Trump ally Dana White…
Nursing Home Told Man Playing Accordion For Them Is Billy Joel
Read MoreThe OnionSOUTH PLAINFIELD, NJ—Having been informed that he canceled a major stop on his big world tour just to…
9 References To Trump In The Bible
Trump has returned, but this was no surprise to actual Christians who know Biblical prophecy. Read MoreBabylon Bee
To Improve Senate Confirmation Hearings, Democratic Women Replaced By Rabid Hyenas
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an attempt to elevate the level of discourse in Senate Confirmation hearings, all of the female…
Donut Pillow Shit For Smothering
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Donut Pillow Shit For Smothering appeared first on The Onion.
Gavin Newsom Rushes Into Burning Building To Inform Fire Victim Trump Is Bad
LOS ANGELES, CA — In a daring and heroic act of selfless bravery, California Governor Gavin Newsom rushed headlong into…
🚨 After Shaina Shepherd’s Disaster at The Showbox, Soundgarden Says «Hold My Beer!» 🍺
Seattle, WA – It seems Soundgarden just can’t stop surprising – or trolling – their fans. After their disastrous December…
Man Fakes Death To Get Out Of Church Committee Meeting
ST. PAUL, MN — Local man Roger Marks faked his own death in an incredibly elaborate ruse to get out…