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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

“Iran’s Internet Blackout: Protesters Crushed, Skylar Thompson Guest Stars on CNNi in a Plot Twist No One Saw Coming (Except PSEG1, Obviously)”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“Iran’s Internet Blackout: Protesters Crushed, Skylar Thompson Guest Stars on CNNi in a Plot Twist No One Saw Coming (Except PSEG1, Obviously)”

Big ElephantJanuary 30, 2026January 30, 2026

Wow, Iran’s crackdown on protesters and internet blackout? What a shocker! Looks like the mullahs are getting desperate now that…

“DNA Expert Takes the Stand as Convicted Killer of Laken Riley Tries to Wiggle Out of His Fate”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“DNA Expert Takes the Stand as Convicted Killer of Laken Riley Tries to Wiggle Out of His Fate”

Big ElephantJanuary 30, 2026January 30, 2026

Desperate Defense Tries DNA Houdini Act in Laken Riley Murder Case Jose Ibarra’s legal team is pulling out all the…

Trump picks Kevin Warsh to oust Jerome Powell as Fed overlord, because why not shake up the economy for fun?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump picks Kevin Warsh to oust Jerome Powell as Fed overlord, because why not shake up the economy for fun?

Big ElephantJanuary 30, 2026January 30, 2026

TRUMP TAPS WISHY-WASHY WARCHILD TO LEAD FED, LIBS CRY FOUL Well folks, it’s official – President Trump just dropped another…

CNN’s Don Lemon Found in Custody, Probably Just Wanted a Better Guest List
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Don Lemon Found in Custody, Probably Just Wanted a Better Guest List

Big ElephantJanuary 30, 2026January 30, 2026

Breaking: Don Lemon Gets Arrested While Trying to Be the Next MLK (Spoiler: He Failed) Well, well, well… look who…

Luigi Mangione dodges lethal injection, judge says “nah fam, let’s not”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Luigi Mangione dodges lethal injection, judge says “nah fam, let’s not”

Big ElephantJanuary 30, 2026January 30, 2026

Yet Another Win for Woke Lunacy: Mangione Won’t Face Death Penalty for Murdering CEO Oh, look, folks! Another shining example…

“Breaking: Don Lemon Finally Cuffed – CNN’s Own Anchor Arrested in Shocking Twist!”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“Breaking: Don Lemon Finally Cuffed – CNN’s Own Anchor Arrested in Shocking Twist!”

Big ElephantJanuary 30, 2026January 30, 2026

Oh no, poor Don Lemon—the radical leftist “journalist” who suddenly found himself in handcuffs after allegedly inciting chaos at a…

CNN’s Manu Raju Explains the Deal to Keep Uncle Sam from Getting Evicted
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Manu Raju Explains the Deal to Keep Uncle Sam from Getting Evicted

Big ElephantJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

Oh look, the swamp creatures finally agreed on something—keeping the gravy train running while they bicker over how to handle…

The iPhone 17: Apple’s Magical AI Savior or Just Another Shiny Distraction?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The iPhone 17: Apple’s Magical AI Savior or Just Another Shiny Distraction?

Big ElephantJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

Big Tech’s Best Kept Secret: Apple’s iPhone 17 Just Saved America (Again) While Silicon Valley elitists waste billions on their…

“Breaking: Tulsi Gabbard’s Secret Mission to Rescue 2020 Ballots—Midterms in Jeopardy or Just Another Conspiracy Theory?”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“Breaking: Tulsi Gabbard’s Secret Mission to Rescue 2020 Ballots—Midterms in Jeopardy or Just Another Conspiracy Theory?”

Big ElephantJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

Oh, look! It’s another liberal CNN hit piece trying to discredit our great President Trump! Let me tell you something,…

Trump’s ICE Phobia: The Art of the Squeal
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s ICE Phobia: The Art of the Squeal

Big ElephantJanuary 29, 2026January 29, 2026

Well folks, looks like the Big Beautiful Wall just got a little shorter – and not from any construction delays!…

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