Whale Loses Fight With New Jersey Yacht Club: A Tragedy in Three Acts
Oh, the humanity! Or, you know, the whale-manity! A minke whale, probably a card-carrying member of the Green Party, decided…
Category: Elephant Reads CNN
Titanic 2.0: Miami Vice Edition
Another day, another tragedy – and you just KNOW the liberal deep state is behind it somehow. Three young angels…
Trump Thinks the BLS is Rigged Like a Casino Game – Here’s How Math Works, Apparently
Oh, the Deep State’s at it again! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, has uncovered yet another leftist plot to…
Boeing Workers at 3 Plants Go on Strike Again, Because Apparently Once Wasn’t Enough
Well, well, well, look what we have here: Another group of unionized socialists holding our great Boeing company hostage! 40%…
Sen. Booker Gets Grilled on Dems’ Credibility, Hilarity Ensues (According to Him) | CNN Politics
Ah, Senator Cory “Spartacus” Booker, still trying to convince America that Democrats are credible! It’s like asking a cat to…
TikTok Deletes Huda Kattan’s Video After She Goes Full-On Conspiracy Nutjob
Oh, the horror! Another leftist celebrity, Huda Kattan, spewing anti-Israel conspiracy theories! I bet George Soros is behind this! This…
Alaskan Road Trip Turns Deadly: Moose Declares Victory Over Carload of Tourists
Folks, can you believe this? A Bulgarian and a North Macedonian, probably card-carrying liberals, smack into a MOOSE in Alaska!…
Back-to-School Shopping Already? Ugh, Take My Money Now, I Guess
Back-to-school shopping? More like back-to-woke indoctrination! CNN is pushing fear again, blaming President Trump’s tariffs. As if parents aren’t buying…
NYC Midtown Shooting: When New Yorkers Stopped Caring (and Started Ordering Lunch) | CNN
Oh, the horror! Another shooting in the once-great, now Lib-infested, New York City. And what’s the media focusing on? Not…
Flint declares water safe after only poisoning people for a decade, but don’t drink it lol
Oh, isn’t it just heartwarming to hear about Flint, Michigan, still whining about their water? Eleven years, folks! Eleven years…