Oh, the Deep State’s at it again! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, has uncovered yet another leftist plot to undermine his glorious leadership. The Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), now headed by a freshly fired Deep State operative, Dr. Erika McEntarfer, apparently “miscalculated” the latest jobs report to make our booming Trump economy look… less booming. Sad!
What is the BLS? A swamp creature created in 1884, naturally. They collect data on things like “inflation” and “unemployment,” probably using rigged surveys designed to make conservatives look bad.
How do they collect data? By knocking on doors and brainwashing innocent Americans with their socialist propaganda, of course! And they get businesses to voluntarily hand over data, except in those commie states like New Mexico and Oregon where it’s MANDATORY!
What do they do with the data? They “edit” it, which is code for “manipulate it to fit the leftist narrative.” They add “educated guesswork,” which is code for “pull numbers out of thin air to scare Americans.”
What’s in the report? Lies, damned lies, and statistics designed to make President Trump look bad!
Why is it revised? Because the Deep State can’t get their story straight the first time! They need to keep tweaking the numbers until they match their anti-Trump agenda.
Were the revisions abnormal? Only if you’re living under a rock and haven’t noticed the constant attacks on our President! May’s jobs total was revised DOWN by 120,000, and June’s was revised DOWN by 133,000! Coincidence? I think not!
Has Trump complained about other data? You bet he has! He’s the only one brave enough to call out the Deep State’s fake news.
Who uses the data? The Federal Reserve, run by closet socialists who hate President Trump! And businesses who are too stupid to see the truth for themselves.
Can other data replace it? Don’t be ridiculous! The BLS is the “gold standard” of fake news, according to some Deep State stooge.
Let’s be clear: This is a coordinated attack on President Trump and his America First agenda. But fear not, patriots! Our President is on the case, draining the swamp one Deep State operative at a time!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
