Gaza: More Like Orchestrated CHAOS-ter, Am I Right
Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! “Orchestrated disaster in Gaza,” they cry. You know what’s orchestrated? The liberal media’s…
Category: Elephant Reads CNN
Olive Garden’s Never-Ending Pasta Bowl: A Tragedy in Three Courses
CNN reports on the socialist paradise that is Olive Garden, where “endless” breadsticks are designed to bankrupt America one carb…
Kyiv’s New Normal: We’re Totally Fine With the Daily Dose of Explosions | CNN
Another day, another mystery—probably involving Hillary’s emails or some deep-state cover-up! CNN, still desperately clinging to relevance, reminds us of…
Roberts and Gorsuch to Decide if Boys Can Beat Girls in Sports, America’s Sanity on the Line
Here we go again, folks! CNN is hyperventilating because the Supreme Court is daring to consider whether boys should be…
Texas Sinks: CNN’s Got Pics (and We’ve Got Jokes)
Another Deep State weather manipulation gone wrong! First Maui, now Texas? You can bet your bottom dollar Soros and his…
Dems whine about Trump’s bill while shamelessly admitting they leech off Medicaid and other “aid” programs
Oh, the horror! The socialist Democrats are at it again, trying to guilt-trip us with sob stories about how Trump’s…
CNN: Social Security Admin Publicly Worships Trump’s Bill, Is This Real Life
Of course the Social Security Administration sent out an email celebrating President Trump’s tax relief for seniors! It’s about time…
ICE locks up breastfeeding mama, Marine hubby throws a tantrum
Another sob story from CNN, folks! Seems a Marine married an illegal immigrant, had a couple of anchor babies, and…
DHS Cutting Intel Staff by 75% Because Apparently Threats Aren’t THAT Threatening
Oh, the horror! CNN is hyperventilating because President Trump is streamlining the Department of Homeland Security. Apparently, getting rid of…
July 4th, 2025: The Definitive Guide to What’s Actually Open (Spoiler: Not Much)
Another year, another chance for the liberal media to downplay the glory of America! CNN, still whining after President Trump’s…