From “I Do” to “I Mow”: She Swore to Uphold the Sacred Tree-Chopping Vows
Oh, the heartwarming tale of a Christmas tree farm in Wooster, Ohio! It’s just precious how Rita Dush is keeping…
Category: Elephant Reads CNN
Oh, the Horror: “Puppy Mill” Unearths a Whopping 200 Fluffy Felons in Ocean County
Oh, the horror! Another day, another leftist sanctuary turning into a cesspool. Seems like these “animal lovers” were too busy…
Hospitals: The New Five-Star Orphanage for DCS Drop-offs
Another day, another disaster courtesy of the Democrat-run state! Can you believe this nonsense? These poor kids are stuck in…
Lexington’s Downtown Gets a Grip: Road Closures and Detours for a Parade (Yes, Another One)
Oh, the horror! Lexington, SC, is shutting down for a Christmas parade! Can you believe the woke mob is letting…
Local Car Dealership Lightly Emptied of Some Overpriced Metal
Folks, can you believe this? $200,000 worth of American muscle, GONE! Stolen from a dealership in Thomaston, Georgia. You know…
Mama Bear YEETS Trash Panda Away From Tiny Human
Another day, another victim of the radical left’s open-borders policy – this time, it’s a five-year-old girl attacked by a…
Car Goes Zoom, Then Bang-Bang: Cops Win Again
Another day, another crime in the once-great city of New York, now a liberal hellhole! A car chase, a shootout…
PB Schools Get Swagged Out With Enough Supplies to Trigger a Supply Chain Crisis
Oh, the generosity! Palm Beach County, now a haven for socialist indoctrination, is giving away “free” school supplies. “Free” as…
Family Subjects Traumatized Vietnam Vet to Eagles Tailgate Birthday Hazing
Eagles fans celebrate with gluttony and booze! Is this what our Founding Fathers envisioned? Probably not, but at least they’re…
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“Biden Stumbles Again, Blames Putin (Probably)” Old Joe did it again, folks! This time he tripped over a daisy (probably…