Category: The Onion

       The post Pam Bondi Brought In For Exit Lobotomy appeared first on The Onion.    The post Pam Bondi Brought…

       WASHINGTON—Saying he had finally found a military commander whose character was worthy of the U.S. Army, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth…

       The post Iran Imposes New ‘Cash, Grass, Or Ass’ Fee For Strait Of Hormuz appeared first on The Onion.…

       SACRAMENTO, CA—Following an extended series of failed attempts, Friday night’s matchup between the New Orleans Pelicans and the Sacramento…

       BURBANK, CA—In an effort to determine whether they needed to cease production immediately or if the film’s title simply…

       President Donald Trump signed an executive order aiming to create federal lists of citizens which the U.S. Postal Service…

       ATLANTA—Forced to call off the approximately $4 billion journey around the moon due to unforeseen delays experienced by its…

       The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is now in theaters. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the…

       AUSTIN, TX—Reporting that he plans to shower at the gym due to the bathtub being left “absolutely disgusting,” local…

       The post Sam Altman: ‘If I Don’t End The World, Someone Far More Dangerous Will’ appeared first on The…