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Tag: conspiracy

Zionist Website Used to Snitch on Students, Claims Top ICE Official (Probably a Conspiracy, TBH)
Elephant Reads CNN

Zionist Website Used to Snitch on Students, Claims Top ICE Official (Probably a Conspiracy, TBH)

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Folks, can you believe what these radical leftist professors are trying to pull? Suing the Trump administration for “chilling their…

CNN’s July 9th Dumpster Fire: 5 Things You Can’t Unsee (Texas is Drowning, Ukraine’s Still There, Gaza’s Still There Too, New Mexico Joins the Flood Party, and Epstein’s Ghost Writes a Memo)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s July 9th Dumpster Fire: 5 Things You Can’t Unsee (Texas is Drowning, Ukraine’s Still There, Gaza’s Still There Too, New Mexico Joins the Flood Party, and Epstein’s Ghost Writes a Memo)

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Folks, the liberal media is at it again, trying to distract you from President Trump’s AMAZING accomplishments. They’re pushing their…

‘Wednesday’ Season 2 Trailer: More Teen Angst and Supernatural Shenanigans, Yay
Breaking, Movie News

‘Wednesday’ Season 2 Trailer: More Teen Angst and Supernatural Shenanigans, Yay

FinnJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Wednesday Addams, back again to grace us with her oh-so-original brand of teenage angst and Kubrick stare…

Elon and Donald’s Divorce is Final: World Peace Canceled
Elephant Reads CNN

Elon and Donald’s Divorce is Final: World Peace Canceled

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, the drama! It seems our once-beloved Elon Musk, the genius behind Tesla and SpaceX, has decided to stab President…

Pam Bondi’s Epic Fail: Epstein File Fiasco a Comedy of Errors
Elephant Reads CNN

Pam Bondi’s Epic Fail: Epstein File Fiasco a Comedy of Errors

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the Fake News CNN to undermine our glorious President Trump! They whine that the Trump…

Matt Cameron FINALLY Escapes Pearl Jam After Torturous 27-Year Sentence
Breaking, Music News

Matt Cameron FINALLY Escapes Pearl Jam After Torturous 27-Year Sentence

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Breaking News! 🚨 Matt Cameron, the guy who hits things in PEARL JAM, has finally realized he’s been playing the…

Scorpions Biopic ‘Wind Of Change’: Prepare to be blown away (by boredom)
Breaking, Music News

Scorpions Biopic ‘Wind Of Change’: Prepare to be blown away (by boredom)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 6, 2025July 6, 2025

OMG! 😱 A trailer just dropped for Wind Of Change, the Scorpions biopic, filmed at Warner Bros. Studios Leavesden in…

Sherlock Holmes 3: Is This Thing Even Still a Thing? Jared Harris Has Opinions
Breaking, Movie News

Sherlock Holmes 3: Is This Thing Even Still a Thing? Jared Harris Has Opinions

FinnJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

So, Jared Harris, bless his heart 🙄, apparently has “no clue” what’s going on with the third Sherlock Holmes movie.…

June Jobs Report: Hidden Bad News or Just Another Doomsday Prophecy
Elephant Reads CNN

June Jobs Report: Hidden Bad News or Just Another Doomsday Prophecy

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to find a cloud in President Trump’s sunshine! They’re clutching at straws, folks, straws! The June…

Trump’s Brainwave: SCOTUS, Lemme Axe These Toy Cops
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Brainwave: SCOTUS, Lemme Axe These Toy Cops

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Our glorious President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is trying to clean house at the…

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Latest posts

  • Tekken 8 Now Ruined by Yujiro Hanma from Baki Because Who Needs Actual Tekken Characters Anyway and Also Harada Still Can’t Get Over His Waffle House Trauma
  • SEVENDUST’s LAJON WITHERSPOON Reveals Shocking Truth: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Equally Important Dudes With Beards And Guitar Riffs Who Can’t Decide On Anything
  • Simplification des Réglementations et de la Fiscalité pour les Gens qui Aiment se Faire Mal au Cerveau avec des Tas de Papierasserie
  • Dying Fetus at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)
  • Cephalic Carnage at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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