Symphony X Launches Highly Anticipated (by Whom?) 2025 North American Tour in Stroudsburg, PA (Seriously?)
SYMPHONY X, the geriatric prog metal dinosaurs 🦖, lumbered onto the stage last night (or whenever it was – who…
Tag: Garbage
Activision Rejects Spielberg’s COD Film: Guess They Prefer Loot Boxes Over Oscars
OMG! 🤯 Can you believe it? Activision, the geniuses behind *Call of Duty*, apparently said “Nah, fam” to a Steven…
Local With Camera Accidentally Stumbles Upon Something Other Than Sand in Abu Dhabi, World Wonders If It’s a Mirage
More leftist propaganda from Fake News CNN! Now they’re crying about “abducted Ukrainian children” being forced to fight. As if…
Tom Holland Google Searches “How To Please Annoying Spider-Man Fans”
Ah, yes, Tom Holland, our friendly neighborhood Spoiler-Man 🕷️, bless his heart ❤️. He actually thinks he knows what the…
“Not Guilty, Huh? DC Suspect Claims He Was Just Watering the Embassy Plants A Little *Too* Aggressively”
Another day, another story of leftist-inspired violence. Elias Rodriguez, some unhinged lunatic, pleaded not guilty to killing two Israeli embassy…
PAX West 2025: OCTOPATH TRAVELER 0 Preview — Prepare to be Mildly Whemed
OCTOPATH TRAVELER 0 at PAX West 2025 was supposed to be my personal hell🔥. I mean, turn-based combat? 🤢 But…
National Guard Extends DC Vacation Through December for Maximum Perks, Insider Claims
Of course, the Deep State’s CNN is “reporting” that President Trump’s deployment of the National Guard in DC might be…
‘Call of Duty’ Movie Incoming: Prepare for Peak Cinema
Oh, great, another 💩Call of Duty movie is being forced upon us by the cinematic overlords at Paramount. Because what…
US Military Accidentally Sinks Caribbean Cruise Ship, Blames ‘Drugs,’ Rubio Cheers
Folks, President Trump just took out another trash barge full of Venezuelan commie drugs! Secretary of State Rubio confirmed our…
SEX PISTOLS (feat. FRANK CARTER): Geriatric Punk Show CANCELED ‘Cause Stevie’s Wrist Went “Bollocks”
OMG! 😱 Just when you thought 2025 couldn’t get any more lit 🔥, Frank Carter and those geriatric delinquents from…