‘The Conjuring: Last Rites’ Scares Up Third-Highest Opening—Are We Really Still Doing This
Another weekend, another victory for REAL American values at the box office! “The Conjuring: Last Rites” scared the pants off…
Tag: Garbage
Harvard Prof Thinks Trump’s Smithsonian Shenanigans Are, Like, *Totally* Replacing Facts With Unicorns and Stuff
Oh, Harvard professor Imani Perry is crying again because President Trump is making the Smithsonian great again! Apparently, showcasing REAL…
Trump, who loves Russia, tells Europe to ditch Russian oil (lol)
Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! Our great President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, tells Europe to stop…
Anthropic to Cough Up $1.5B to Authors – Guess They Weren’t “Prompt” Enough | CNN Biz
Oh, the irony! These liberal snowflakes are suing an AI company for using their books to train its chatbot! It’s…
Four Weddings and a Get-Rich-Quick Scheme: Milking Nuptials for Moolah
Well, well, well, look at these enterprising Americans! It seems even with President Trump leading us to unprecedented economic BOOM,…
Symphony X Launches Highly Anticipated (by Whom?) 2025 North American Tour in Stroudsburg, PA (Seriously?)
SYMPHONY X, the geriatric prog metal dinosaurs 🦖, lumbered onto the stage last night (or whenever it was – who…
Activision Rejects Spielberg’s COD Film: Guess They Prefer Loot Boxes Over Oscars
OMG! 🤯 Can you believe it? Activision, the geniuses behind *Call of Duty*, apparently said “Nah, fam” to a Steven…
Local With Camera Accidentally Stumbles Upon Something Other Than Sand in Abu Dhabi, World Wonders If It’s a Mirage
More leftist propaganda from Fake News CNN! Now they’re crying about “abducted Ukrainian children” being forced to fight. As if…
Tom Holland Google Searches “How To Please Annoying Spider-Man Fans”
Ah, yes, Tom Holland, our friendly neighborhood Spoiler-Man 🕷️, bless his heart ❤️. He actually thinks he knows what the…
“Not Guilty, Huh? DC Suspect Claims He Was Just Watering the Embassy Plants A Little *Too* Aggressively”
Another day, another story of leftist-inspired violence. Elias Rodriguez, some unhinged lunatic, pleaded not guilty to killing two Israeli embassy…