Pokémon Champions: Because Who Needs a Full Game When You Can Pay for the Privilege? Coming April 8 to Your Wallet’s Doom!
Oh, great, another Pokémon game—because clearly, what the world needs now is more ways to watch little creatures punch each…
Tag: Internet
New Shows That’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices and Cancel All Your Plans This Week
Oh, look! Another week, another avalanche of TV shows flooding our lives like a dumpster fire we can’t look away…
SIX FEET UNDER’s JACK OWEN: CHRIS BARNES Is ‘Very Approachable’ And ‘Very Relatable’ (Because He’s Not Actually A Zombie)
In a shocking revelation that has the metal community clutching their chest plates in disbelief, Jack Owen of SIX FEET…
ABC’s Epic Fail: How Much Cash They’re Flushing by Skipping ‘Bachelorette’ Season 22 and Making Us All Sad
Hold on to your artisanal rosé, folks — ABC just learned the hard way that reality TV drama comes with…
Chuck Norris, Walker Texas Ranger Legend, Finally Gets Tired of Kicking Death in the Face at 86
Chuck Norris, the human embodiment of the phrase “Don’t mess with Texas,” has finally met his match—Father Time. Yes, you…
Fortnite Finally Back on Google Play: Gamers Celebrate, Parents Weep Quietly
After five long years and courtroom battles, Fortnite has finally returned to the Google Play Store today, just in time…
Iranians Experience “Offline Forever” Mode: Internet Blackout Turns into an Extended Digital Detox
Breaking News: Iran’s Internet Blackout Proves Trump’s Sanctions Are Working! Well, well, well, look who’s crying about a little internet…
The Absolute *Shocking* Oscar Winners That Make Us Question Humanity’s Taste
Okay, let’s get this straight. The Academy Awards are meant to be the pinnacle of cinematic achievement—the gold standard for…
Kouri Richins’ Murder Trial: The Cliff Notes Version of a Trainwreck Divorce with a Side of Scandal and Debt!
Democrats’ Latest Scandal: Liberal Mom Poisons Husband for Fentanyl-Fueled Affair In a shocking display of liberal depravity, a Utah mother…
Nintendo Unleashes Unbridled Chaos For Mario Day: Prepare For Mushroom Madness And Shell-Shocking Shenanigans
Oh, look who’s trying to break the internet again—Nintendo, with its annual “We love Mario so much we’ll literally give…