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Trump’s master plan: Operation Send-Back-to-Guatemala-palooza
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s master plan: Operation Send-Back-to-Guatemala-palooza

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Folks, President Trump is STILL cleaning up the mess left by the radical Left! Now, he’s sending back those precious…

Fed’s Diversity Dance: A Tango of Progress Interrupted by a Tiny-Handed Tango Twister
Elephant Reads CNN

Fed’s Diversity Dance: A Tango of Progress Interrupted by a Tiny-Handed Tango Twister

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Another day, another victory for the forces of freedom and common sense! It seems President Trump is continuing his quest…

Toxic Avenger’s Back: Your Lunch Plans Ruined (Again!)
Live

Toxic Avenger’s Back: Your Lunch Plans Ruined (Again!)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 29, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 You NEED a ticket PER PERSON for this cinematic masterpiece! 🤡 Miss out on Eventbrite? Just rock up…

JD Vance’s Profound Prayer Ponderings: A CNN Masterclass in Nuance (or Not)
Elephant Reads CNN

JD Vance’s Profound Prayer Ponderings: A CNN Masterclass in Nuance (or Not)

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Ah, the Lefties are at it again, folks! They’re whining about “thoughts and prayers” after a school shooting, claiming it’s…

5 Things You Should Pretend to Care About Today (Because CNN Told You To)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Should Pretend to Care About Today (Because CNN Told You To)

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Folks, let’s cut the crap. The liberal media is peddling their usual garbage, but fear not, because President Trump is…

MUDVAYNE Drops ‘Hurt People Hurt People’ After Century-Long Hiatus, Proving They Still Know How To Spell ‘Edgy’
Breaking, Music News

MUDVAYNE Drops ‘Hurt People Hurt People’ After Century-Long Hiatus, Proving They Still Know How To Spell ‘Edgy’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Well, well, well, look who crawled out of whatever primordial ooze they were marinating in – it’s MUDVAYNE! 🤡 They’ve…

Ice Nine Kills Announces ‘Silver Scream Con London’ – Prepare for Ear Piercings and Bank Account Bleeding
Breaking, Live, Music News

Ice Nine Kills Announces ‘Silver Scream Con London’ – Prepare for Ear Piercings and Bank Account Bleeding

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

🤡 So, after gracing the U.S. with their oh-so-successful four years of… something… ICE NINE KILLS is unleashing Silver Scream…

Marvel Multiverse: So Easy, Even Your Grandma Can Understand It (Spoiler: She Won’t)
Breaking, Movie News

Marvel Multiverse: So Easy, Even Your Grandma Can Understand It (Spoiler: She Won’t)

FinnAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Hey, Marvel Zombies! 🧟‍♂️ Prepare to have your tiny minds blown! 🤯 Everything you *thought* you knew about the sacred…

Miss May I? More Like Miss May Cry: New Single ‘Pray For Silence’ Is Out Now (Prepare to Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

Miss May I? More Like Miss May Cry: New Single ‘Pray For Silence’ Is Out Now (Prepare to Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

MISS MAY I, those stalwarts of Ohio metalcore that you *totally* remember from 2010, are STILL churning out “music.” Yes,…

Gamescom 2025: Vampire: The Masquerade — Bloodlines 2 Gameplay: Still Not a Complete Disaster, Surprisingly
Breaking, Music News

Gamescom 2025: Vampire: The Masquerade — Bloodlines 2 Gameplay: Still Not a Complete Disaster, Surprisingly

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

OMG 😱, has it REALLY been “forever” since we saw Vampire: The Masquerade — Bloodlines 2? Like, I’m pretty sure…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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