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Trump, Savior of ‘Dilbert,’ Declares ‘I’m On It,’ Because Cartoonists are People Too, Maybe
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump, Savior of ‘Dilbert,’ Declares ‘I’m On It,’ Because Cartoonists are People Too, Maybe

Big ElephantNovember 2, 2025November 2, 2025

Another day, another example of President Trump MAGA-ing his way through the swamp! This time, he’s stepping in to help…

Mississippi Woman Turns Monkey Assassin, Saves Kids from Impending Primate Apocalypse
Elephant Reads CNN

Mississippi Woman Turns Monkey Assassin, Saves Kids from Impending Primate Apocalypse

Big ElephantNovember 2, 2025November 2, 2025

Heidelberg, Mississippi – More illegal immigrants apprehended, this time of the simian variety! A courageous, all-American mother did what the…

KORN Guitarist BRIAN ‘HEAD’ WELCH Drops Truth Bomb: Religion, Still Messing Things Up After All These Years, Who Knew
Breaking, Music News

KORN Guitarist BRIAN ‘HEAD’ WELCH Drops Truth Bomb: Religion, Still Messing Things Up After All These Years, Who Knew

Chord F. DiscordNovember 2, 2025November 2, 2025

Brian “Head” Welch, the dude who bailed on KORN in ’05 ’cause he found Jesus (or maybe Jesus found his…

Gerard Butler and Morena Baccarin Star in Greenland 2: Migration? Oh, the Humanity
Breaking, Movie News

Gerard Butler and Morena Baccarin Star in Greenland 2: Migration? Oh, the Humanity

FinnNovember 2, 2025November 2, 2025

Oh, look, another disaster movie starring Gerard Butler! 🙄 Because apparently, the world hasn’t suffered enough in real life, so…

“Oy vey, my mayoral choices! Zohran Mamdani’s causing a schism among the chosen people, nu?”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Oy vey, my mayoral choices! Zohran Mamdani’s causing a schism among the chosen people, nu?”

Big ElephantNovember 2, 2025November 2, 2025

Folks, can you believe what’s happening in New York? This mayoral election is a total circus, with the Democrats falling…

Tuesday’s Key Races: LOL, as if You Know Anything About the NYC Election and Other Useless Contests | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Tuesday’s Key Races: LOL, as if You Know Anything About the NYC Election and Other Useless Contests | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 2, 2025November 2, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The Fake News at CNN is hyperventilating over some elections, trying to spin it like…

From Zero to Fake Hero: This Guy’s Law Enforcement Impersonation Spree is a Five-Alarm Farce | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

From Zero to Fake Hero: This Guy’s Law Enforcement Impersonation Spree is a Five-Alarm Farce | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 2, 2025November 2, 2025

Another day, another Hollywood nutjob exposed! Turns out this “hotelier,” Steve Farzam, is just another Deep State operative trying to…

Fetterman Roasts Dem Shutdown Strategy: ‘It’s Embarrassing, Honestly,’ Says Guy Who Wears Shorts All the Time
Elephant Reads CNN

Fetterman Roasts Dem Shutdown Strategy: ‘It’s Embarrassing, Honestly,’ Says Guy Who Wears Shorts All the Time

Big ElephantNovember 2, 2025November 2, 2025

Crooked Cuomo, still clinging to relevance, is now shilling for some nobody Dem in the New York mayoral race! You…

Yellen Screams “Recession Imminent!” Unless Fed Does Exactly As Told, World Doomed
Elephant Reads CNN

Yellen Screams “Recession Imminent!” Unless Fed Does Exactly As Told, World Doomed

Big ElephantNovember 2, 2025November 2, 2025

Oh, no! The sky is falling! Treasury Secretary Bessent, probably a secret Democrat, is now saying that the economy “could”…

MNEMIC Back From The Dead, Claims To Be “Super Excited” (We’ll See About That)
Breaking, Music News

MNEMIC Back From The Dead, Claims To Be “Super Excited” (We’ll See About That)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 2, 2025November 2, 2025

In August 2024, the original lineup of Danish “djent” metal pioneers MNEMIC (yeah, we put “djent” in quotes because let’s…

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