Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Metallica

Ex-Slipknot Drummer Jay Weinberg’s Solo Album: Prepare for the Most Mediocre Undertaking You’ll Ever Be Mildly Interested In
Breaking, Music News

Ex-Slipknot Drummer Jay Weinberg’s Solo Album: Prepare for the Most Mediocre Undertaking You’ll Ever Be Mildly Interested In

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Wow, look at this “exclusive” interview 🙄 with the guy who got the boot from SLIPKNOT, now slumming it in…

Vivian Campbell’s Pre-DIO Disaster SWEET SAVAGE Announces New Album ‘Bang’ (Your Ears)
Breaking

Vivian Campbell’s Pre-DIO Disaster SWEET SAVAGE Announces New Album ‘Bang’ (Your Ears)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

OMG! 😱 The geriatric metal squad, SWEET SAVAGE, is BACK with an album called “Bang” hitting stores on September 12…

Ice Nine Kills Drops Another Banger About a Movie You’ve Totally Heard Of
Breaking, Music News

Ice Nine Kills Drops Another Banger About a Movie You’ve Totally Heard Of

Chord F. DiscordJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

So, the *totally* not overrated, RIAA-gold-certified horror metal “madmen” (🙄) ICE NINE KILLS, dropped “The Great Unknown.” It’s basically them…

Fozzy Barfs Up Another Turd, This Time It’s ‘Fall In Line’
Breaking, Music News

Fozzy Barfs Up Another Turd, This Time It’s ‘Fall In Line’

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

FOZZY, the musical masterpiece 🤩 fronted by wrestling “icon” Chris Jericho and the guitar wizard 🧙‍♂️ from STUCK MOJO, Rich…

Amy Lee Reveals the Evanescence Song That Should Have Been a Single (But We All Secretly Hate It)
Breaking, Music News

Amy Lee Reveals the Evanescence Song That Should Have Been a Single (But We All Secretly Hate It)

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, honey, every artist has regrets, especially when they realize their “artistic vision” was maybe just a bad hair day…

Randy Blythe of LAMB OF GOD Thinks His Day Was, Like, Totally Unbelievable, Man
Breaking, Music News

Randy Blythe of LAMB OF GOD Thinks His Day Was, Like, Totally Unbelievable, Man

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

So, LAMB OF GOD, bless their little metal hearts, got to play at Ozzy Osbourne’s “farewell” (yeah, right, we’ve heard…

John Bush’s Wild Ride: From Armored Saint to Almost Metallica (But Not Really)
Breaking, Music News

John Bush’s Wild Ride: From Armored Saint to Almost Metallica (But Not Really)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 6, 2025July 6, 2025

So, apparently, some dude named John Bush, who sang for ANTHRAX (lol, remember them?) and ARMORED SAINT (who?), was almost…

Ozzy and the Geezers: Still Alive? (Barely) Birmingham Bash!
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy and the Geezers: Still Alive? (Barely) Birmingham Bash!

Chord F. DiscordJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

So, apparently, Ozzy Osbourne, bless his heart, mumbled his way through what they’re calling his “last” performance earlier tonight (Saturday,…

Behold! A Complete Pilgrimage to the OZZY OSBOURNE ‘Working Class Hero’ Shrine in the Land of Birmingham
Breaking, Music News

Behold! A Complete Pilgrimage to the OZZY OSBOURNE ‘Working Class Hero’ Shrine in the Land of Birmingham

Chord F. DiscordJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

Metal Pilgrim has uploaded a full video tour of the the Ozzy Osbourne “Working Class Hero” exhibition, which opened in…

Wolfie’s New Album: So Fresh, It’s Basically Still in Diapers
Breaking, Music News

Wolfie’s New Album: So Fresh, It’s Basically Still in Diapers

Chord F. DiscordJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

In a riveting exposé with Ronni Hunter from the intellectual powerhouse known as 99.7 The Blitz, Wolfgang Van Halen, the…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 11 12 13 … 18 Next

Latest posts

  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 14 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 14 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 14, 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 14 2026
  • Elon Musk’s Million Dollar Voting Habit Raises Eyebrows

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}