Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Metallica

Creed’s “Best Of” Album: Because Once Was Not Enough
Breaking, Music News

Creed’s “Best Of” Album: Because Once Was Not Enough

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 23, 2025September 23, 2025

OMG 😱, fresh from their earth-shattering (and by “earth-shattering” we mean “mildly inconvenient to some”) comeback last year, everyone’s favorite…

Evanescence Finally Sorta Close to Maybe Finishing New Album, No Seriously This Time
Breaking, Music News

Evanescence Finally Sorta Close to Maybe Finishing New Album, No Seriously This Time

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 23, 2025September 23, 2025

So, at the Louder Than Life festival in Kentucky (where dreams go to die 😂), Amy Lee of EVANESCENCE 🥀,…

Ozzy’s New Doc: Prepare for Absolutely Zero Escape (You’ve Been Warned)
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s New Doc: Prepare for Absolutely Zero Escape (You’ve Been Warned)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Paramount+, in its infinite wisdom, is gracing us with a documentary about Ozzy Osbourne, because apparently, we haven’t suffered enough.💩…

Spinal Tap’s Earth-Shattering Return to Kimmel After a Whopping 15 Years (Finally)
Breaking, Music News

Spinal Tap’s Earth-Shattering Return to Kimmel After a Whopping 15 Years (Finally)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

SPINAL TAP, those legends who peaked in the ’80s and have been desperately clinging to relevance ever since, graced the…

STATIC-X Bassist Reminisces About Hanging With The Prince Of Darkness: “Ozzy Was, Like, Totally Awesome, Man”
Breaking, Music News

STATIC-X Bassist Reminisces About Hanging With The Prince Of Darkness: “Ozzy Was, Like, Totally Awesome, Man”

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

So, apparently, according to PipemanRadio at the totally important Bloodstock Open Air festival (never heard of it), STATIC-X bassist Tony…

The Offspring drops ‘Truth In Fiction’ video, proving they’re still a band
Breaking, Music News

The Offspring drops ‘Truth In Fiction’ video, proving they’re still a band

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

OMG! 🙄 The geriatric punk rockers THE OFFSPRING, who are probably older than your grandpa,👴 just dropped a music video…

Kerry King’s Profound Reflection: “Being in SLAYER’s ‘Back To The Beginning’ Concert Was, Like, A Real Honor, Man”
Breaking, Music News

Kerry King’s Profound Reflection: “Being in SLAYER’s ‘Back To The Beginning’ Concert Was, Like, A Real Honor, Man”

Chord F. DiscordAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

So, at this year’s oh-so-brutal Brutal Assault festival, Metalshop TV decided to grace us with an interview of the one,…

MEGADETH Announces Final Album in 2026, Followed by a ‘Farewell’ Tour (Until the Next Reunion, That Is)
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH Announces Final Album in 2026, Followed by a ‘Farewell’ Tour (Until the Next Reunion, That Is)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

OMG! 😱 DAVE MUSTAINE, the ginger overlord of MEGADETH, has graced us with his infinite wisdom (or maybe he just…

Sharon Osbourne Roasts Ridiculous Claims of $190M Charity Windfall: ‘Yeah Right’
Breaking, Music News

Sharon Osbourne Roasts Ridiculous Claims of $190M Charity Windfall: ‘Yeah Right’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 8, 2025August 8, 2025

Sharon Osbourne, the puppet master 🎭 behind the Prince of Darkness 🦇 (RIP, btw, spoiler alert 🚨), has come out…

Steven Wilson Cries Bitter Tears Because Guns N’ Roses Said ‘NO WAY, DUDE’ to His Fancy Remix of ‘Use Your Illusion’ Albums: Apparently, Axl Rose Hates Surround Sound
Breaking, Music News

Steven Wilson Cries Bitter Tears Because Guns N’ Roses Said ‘NO WAY, DUDE’ to His Fancy Remix of ‘Use Your Illusion’ Albums: Apparently, Axl Rose Hates Surround Sound

Chord F. DiscordAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, the tragedy! 😭 In a recent, heart-wrenching interview with Andrew McKaysmith of the incredibly influential Scars And Guitars podcast…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 11 12 13 … 21 Next

Latest posts

  • China’s Secret Agent Apparently Didn’t Get The Memo
  • Southern Georgia Block Party Apparently Not That Fun This Year
  • Spin of the Day: The puzzle features nine pears for players to solve. — 86% Journalism Not Found
  • Bombers Leave UK Base Suddenly Remembering They Have Homes
  • Alice Cooper Still Trying To Validate 78 Years Of Existence

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.