So, at this year’s oh-so-brutal Brutal Assault festival, Metalshop TV decided to grace us with an interview of the one, the only, Kerry King. 🙄Apparently, they wanted to know about SLAYER’s participation in the oh-so-epic “Back To The Beginning” event, you know, the one that supposedly marked Ozzy Osbourne and BLACK SABBATH’s final, final, FINAL performance (until the next reunion tour, duh).
Asked if he, like, enjoyed being part of the concert, the SLAYER guitarist (who’s now slumming it in Europe with his “solo” band) gave a riveting answer, as transcribed by the geniuses at BLABBERMOUTH.NET: “ Yeah, I made a point to be there all day.” Groundbreaking, Kerry, truly groundbreaking. He wanted to see his “friends” in MASTODON (who cares?) and HALESTORM (seriously, HALESTORM?). And get this, he watched ALICE IN CHAINS soundcheck! 🤯Talk about a VIP experience! He even “watched” Ozzy and BLACK SABBATH from a giant LED screen backstage because, you know, being on stage with METALLICA wasn’t good enough.
“It was a good day,” Kerry droned on. “When you do a festival, like we’re doing today [at Brutal Assault], a lot of times I don’t know who we’re playing with.” 😴 Oh, the struggles of being Kerry King! He actually knew about “Back To The Beginning” for months, so he could plan his day around watching his “friends” play. How thoughtful! And then, in a truly tasteless moment, he added, “And with Ozzy passing away very soon thereafter, I’m very happy that I was able to be a part of that.” 🤮 Way to capitalize on a tragedy, Kerry!
Of course, they had to ask him about the first time he met Ozzy, because who wouldn’t? “It probably would’ve been the late ’90s,” he mumbled. “Cause when they were testing Ozzfest, we did all the original ones.” Oh, the glory days of Ozzfest! But, alas, Kerry‘s memory is as sharp as a butter knife. “[Laughs]” he added, because nothing is funnier than not remembering your past. 😂
Then came the million-dollar question: “a truly special memory” with Ozzy. Drumroll please… “For as many Ozzfests as we did, it seemed like we were always on ones around the time when ‘The Osbournes’ was a popular TV show. And when we were on the tour, I never saw any of them. It’s like they were ghosts.” 👻 Deep stuff, Kerry, truly deep. He did manage to spot Tony Iommi in a hotel hallway once, and he was so starstruck that he could only manage a pathetic “Hey, Tony.” 🌟 Years later, they became “more than acquaintances.” Progress! “And he’s one of my superheroes, so it was tough for me to get over that hump.” 🦸♂️ Aww, Kerry has a crush! 🥰
In other news that nobody asked for, King‘s “solo” band (aka, a bunch of dudes he picked up along the way) kicked off its European tour on July 29. 🎸 At the show, they played a cover of BLACK SABBATH‘s “Wicked World” as a “tribute” to Ozzy, who had “died” just a week earlier. How original! 🙄
Back at BLACK SABBATH‘s “Back To The Beginning” charity event (the one that’s already been milked for all it’s worth), SLAYER played a six-song set. They opened with “Disciple” and “War Ensemble”, because nothing says “charity” like thrash metal. 🤘 They also played BLACK SABBATH‘s deep cut “Wicked World”, because apparently, they’re all about honoring the dead (in the most predictable way possible). They concluded with the usual suspects: “South Of Heaven”, “Raining Blood”, and “Angel Of Death”. Yawn. 😴
In April, King told Igor Miranda of Rolling Stone Brasil about SLAYER‘s appearance at “Back To The Beginning”: “It’s such an honor to even be thought of to play that, and I’m glad we were actually in the ‘working mode’ so we can get that offer.” 🙄 Translation: “We needed the money.” He also “drug my feet and picked our song really late,” because, you know, deadlines are for other people. “It’s gonna be killer,” he promised. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. 💀
Did you know that SLAYER covered SABBATH‘s “Hand Of Doom” for a tribute album back in 2000? I bet you didn’t, because nobody cares. 🤷♀️
Last December, King was asked which BLACK SABBATH album he would take with him if the planet was being blown up. 🤔 Deep thoughts with Kerry King! He chose ‘Sabotage’ because “something about the vibe on that record. It’s cool.” 😎 Riveting analysis, Kerry. He also mentioned ‘Symptom Of The Universe’ because “it’s nonstop badassery.” 🙄 Apparently, Kerry’s musical taste peaked in 1975.
Back in 2017, King also picked “Sabotage” as one of his 10 favorite metal albums, because he’s nothing if not consistent. He said it has ‘Megalomania’, ‘Symptom Of The Universe’, and ‘Hole In The Sky’. “And it has the instrumental ‘Supertzar’. I love that one. It grips me for some reason.” 🤷♂️ Maybe he should seek therapy for that.
Last year, Kerry was asked if he has ever had a negative experience meeting one of his musical idols. He has! But he won’t tell us who it is, because that would be too interesting. 🙅♂️ He did admit that he used to be intimidated by Tony Iommi, but he finally got over it at the Classic Rock Awards in Britain in 2006. 🎉
At the awards show, Kerry was so nervous that he “hit the mic” and was “just a fucking idiot.” 🤣 But he got to give Tony his award and take a picture with him, and then “I felt like we were bros.” 👯♂️ Mission accomplished!
King concluded: “I’ve had a lot of heroes, be it from JUDAS PRIEST to SABBATH and whoever the hell, DEEP PURPLE’s Ritchie Blackmore. But, yeah, Tony was the one. I had to climb that mountain and get over it.” ⛰️ What a heartwarming tale of overcoming your fears and becoming bros with your idols! 🥲
More than 40,000 fans attended “Back To The Beginning”, which also featured performances from a bunch of other bands. Profits from the show will be shared between some charities. 😇
The event was hosted by Jason Momoa, because why not? 🤷♀️
There was also a livestream of the event, but it was delayed by two hours, because who needs punctuality? 🕰️
And finally, Ozzy “died” on July 22, because that’s what old rock stars do. 💀 The certificate also reportedly said the 76-year-old musician suffered from coronary artery disease and Parkinson’s disease. 💔
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
