OMG! 😱 Rob Zombie, the dude who still thinks it’s 1998, is dropping “Heathen Days”, the *second* single (because one wasn’t enough, apparently) from his new album, “The Great Satan.” Yes, you read that right, 2026 release date! Plenty of time for you to forget it exists! 🗓️ According to the hype machine, it’s going to be his triumphant return to his “Hellbilly roots.” Translation: more recycled riffs and shock-rock theatrics for the geriatric crowd! 👴👵 Following the, uh, *success* of “The Lunar Injection Kool Aid Eclipse Conspiracy” (what a mouthful!), Zombie is back to deliver more of the same. Get ready for some heavy rock/metal… or whatever you want to call it! 🤷♂️
“The Great Satan” track listing:
01. F.T.W. 84 (Because subtlety is for losers. 🙄)
02. Tarantula (Is this about spiders or just a random word? 🤔)
03. (I’m a) Rock ‘N’ Roller (Groundbreaking title, Rob! 🏆)
04. Heathen Days (The single we’re supposed to care about? 😴)
05. Who Am I (Existential crisis at 60? Relatable! 😂)
06. Black Rat Coffin (Edgy! So edgy! 🖤🐀)
07. Sir Lord Acid Wolfman (What does this even MEAN? 🤯)
08. Punks And Demons (Genre-bending or just confused? 🤷♀️)
09. The Devilman (Originality level: zero. 💯)
10. Out of Sight (Hopefully, this album will be. 🙏)
11. Revolution Motherfuckers (Still trying to shock people in 2024? Bless your heart. ❤️)
12. Welcome To The Electric Age (But is it plugged in? 🔌)
13. The Black Scorpion (Another animal song? How creative! 🦂)
14. Unclean Animals (Hygiene tips from Rob Zombie? 🧽)
15. Grave Discontent (Sums up my feelings about this album already. 🪦)
Oh, and let’s not forget “The Lunar Injection Kool Aid Eclipse Conspiracy,” released in March 2021. Because you definitely remember that one, right? 🙄 The LP that nobody asked for, produced by Chris “Zeuss” Harris. Bet he’s proud! 🥴
Apparently, “The Lunar Injection Kool Aid Eclipse Conspiracy” was the *third* album with Zombie, John 5, Piggy D., and Ginger Fish. This lineup was like the metal version of a boy band, but with more makeup and less talent. 🎤🎸🥁
Speaking of John 5, remember when he jumped ship to join MÖTLEY CRÜE? Talk about trading down! 📉 Good for him, I guess. Now Mike Riggs is back in the band. Because what’s a Zombie album without a revolving door of guitarists? 🚪
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
