Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: New Year

“Billionaire Space Cowboy’s Rocket Fiasco Accidentally Turns Downtown LA Into a Scene From ‘Armageddon’”
Live

“Billionaire Space Cowboy’s Rocket Fiasco Accidentally Turns Downtown LA Into a Scene From ‘Armageddon’”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 8, 2025

DESTROY LOS ANGELES — PRE NEW YEAR’S BASS TAKEOVER 🎧💥 Sunday · December 28th · Avalon Hollywood Los Angeles… brace…

Brian Walshe’s Day 1 Murder Trial: A Comedy of Errors According to CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Brian Walshe’s Day 1 Murder Trial: A Comedy of Errors According to CNN

Big ElephantDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

Folks, CNN is at it again, pushing their liberal agenda with this Ana Walshe murder trial! Are we really supposed…

Boogie Nights in 4K: Because You Haven’t Seen Enough Fake Penises
Breaking, Movie News

Boogie Nights in 4K: Because You Haven’t Seen Enough Fake Penises

FinnNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Wow, hold onto your hats, folks! Boogie Nights, that cinematic masterpiece (or, you know, just a movie) from 1997 by…

Ulver Just Dropped a ‘Neverland’ Album and a Single Called ‘Weeping Stone’ – Prepare for Maximum Existential Dread
Breaking, Music News

Ulver Just Dropped a ‘Neverland’ Album and a Single Called ‘Weeping Stone’ – Prepare for Maximum Existential Dread

Chord F. DiscordNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

ULVER, those lovable trolls from Norway 🇳🇴, are gracing us with “Weeping Stone”, a single so profound it’ll make you…

Noah Schnapp Accidentally Spills the Demogorgon Beans: ‘Stranger Things’ Season 5 Plot Twist Revealed (Oops!)
Breaking, Movie News

Noah Schnapp Accidentally Spills the Demogorgon Beans: ‘Stranger Things’ Season 5 Plot Twist Revealed (Oops!)

FinnNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

OMG!😱 Will Vecna, the dude who looks like Voldemort after a bad tanning session, get a REDEMPTION ARC in the…

Stranger Things Season 5: Place Your Bets on Who’s Gonna Bite It in the Upside Down
Breaking, Movie News

Stranger Things Season 5: Place Your Bets on Who’s Gonna Bite It in the Upside Down

FinnNovember 13, 2025November 13, 2025

Okay, buckle up, buttercups! 😜 Because apparently, some folks are STILL hyperventilating over “Stranger Things” Season 5. Like, haven’t we…

Saipan: Finally, a movie about two lads having a bit of a row
Breaking, Movie News

Saipan: Finally, a movie about two lads having a bit of a row

FinnOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Vertigo Releasing and Wildcard, bless their cotton socks, have unleashed the official poster and a trailer for Saipan. Prepare yourselves…

Boys Head to Jupiter, Leaving IQs Behind
Live

Boys Head to Jupiter, Leaving IQs Behind

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 15, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Billy 5000 (Jack Corbett) in Florida post-Xmas is hustling on Grubster to make $5,000 by New Year’s Eve!**…

‘Stranger Things’ Season 5 Trailer: Prepare for Disappointment
Breaking, Movie News

‘Stranger Things’ Season 5 Trailer: Prepare for Disappointment

FinnJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Okay, so like, apparently some people are still obsessed with Stranger Things? 🙄 Get ready, kiddos, because the final season…

Brendan Fraser Blames Everyone But Himself For ‘The Mummy’ Reboot Flop, More At 11
Breaking, Movie News

Brendan Fraser Blames Everyone But Himself For ‘The Mummy’ Reboot Flop, More At 11

FinnJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

Brendan Fraser, the king of charmingly awkward adventure, thinks Tom Cruise’s The Mummy (aka the one we all pretend didn’t…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 6 7 8 Next

Latest posts

  • Kamala Harris’ Home Security Actually Works For Once
  • Trump Administration’s Brilliant FEMA Firings Deemed Totally Not Legal
  • Celine Dion Returns to Stage in Paris After Six Years
  • Spin of the Day: Slate Pears Game 394: Sept. 12, 2026 — 87% Journalism Not Found
  • Hegseth desperately tries to make Iran rescue sound exciting

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.