Brendan Fraser, the king of charmingly awkward adventure, thinks Tom Cruise’s The Mummy (aka the one we all pretend didn’t happen) failed because it was, wait for it, NOT FUN 😱. Apparently, Tom forgot to add enough explosions and questionable CGI mummies for Brendan’s taste. Who knew that the secret to a successful Mummy movie was more cheese than a Wisconsin deli? 🧀
Our beloved 56-year-old treasure hunter (yes, he’s 56, feel old yet?👴) graced the screen as Rick O’Connell not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES in Stephen Sommers’ Mummy franchise. And let’s be honest, those movies were a bigger box office hit than Tom Cruise’s ego after a successful Mission Impossible stunt. 💥
Speaking of Cruise’s The Mummy (remember that one? No? Me neither 🙈), it was supposed to launch a whole Dark Universe of monster movies. But alas, it crashed and burned faster than a vampire in direct sunlight 🧛. The cinematic monster universe? Scrapped faster than my New Year’s resolutions. 🗑️
Now, Fraser is here to spill the tea ☕ on why Cruise’s The Mummy face-planted harder than a mummy trying to do parkour. According to Brendan, it lacked the adventure and excitement of Sommers’ films. So basically, it was about as thrilling as watching paint dry. 🎨
At Fan Expo Denver (because where else would this revelation happen? 🤷), Brendan dropped this truth bomb: “I know Tom Cruise tried to make his movie and it ain’t easy! We all know how hard this movie is to make.” Translation: “Bless his heart, he tried.” 🙏
He continued, “With the exception of three [The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor] (we don’t talk about that one 🤫), the thing with all of these films is that, at least it was fun, it was a thrill ride, and you wanted to do it again.” So, basically, Brendan’s saying his Mummy movies were like a rollercoaster, and Cruise’s was like a slow, creaky carousel. 🎠
“The answer is you’ve just got to give everybody what they really, really want. If you stray from that path…” you end up with a Mummy movie that nobody remembers. 💀
Sommers, the mastermind behind the first two Fraser installments, also chimed in. Apparently, he wasn’t thrilled that director Alex Kurtzman and his writer squad didn’t bother to ask him for advice. Rude! 😠
In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Sommers said, “I was kind of insulted because the writers and director of that Tom Cruise one, no one ever contacted me.” Translation: “My phone was on, guys! I have opinions!” 🗣️
“I contact people if I was going to take over somebody’s thing. The third one, which Rob [Cohen] directed, it’s kind of my baby. I didn’t want to step on his toes, so I helped produce it. But I had nothing to do with the Tom Cruise one. They never contacted me or called me. I was doing other things, and it’s not like I sat crying. I just think it’s common courtesy.“ So basically, Sommers is saying, “Common courtesy, people! It’s not that hard!” 🙄
But wait, there’s more! The Mummy is getting ANOTHER reboot! 🎬 This time, courtesy of Evil Dead Rise director Lee Cronin. He’s promising a Mummy movie unlike anything we’ve ever seen before. Let’s hope it’s better than Cruise’s attempt.🤞
And here’s a fun fact: this reboot is the first film in The Mummy franchise NOT to be distributed by Universal Pictures. So, basically, everyone’s jumping ship. 🚢
Cronin vowed that his vision for the film “will be unlike any Mummy movie you’ve ever laid eyeballs on before.” Let’s hope that’s a good thing and not just a bunch of CGI scorpions doing the Macarena. 🦂💃
He added, “I’m digging deep into the earth to raise something very ancient and very frightening.” Hopefully, it’s not just another excuse to sell overpriced popcorn. 🍿
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
