DESTROY LOS ANGELES — PRE NEW YEAR’S BASS TAKEOVER 🎧💥
Sunday · December 28th · Avalon Hollywood
Los Angeles… brace your eardrums! On December 28th, Avalon Hollywood will legally become a bass warzone 🚨. Perfect for riddim gremlins and neck-dislodging enthusiasts who enjoy subs that double as earthquake simulators. 🌍💢
What’s the damage?
⚡ Free entry before 11 PM (if you RSVP before humanity realizes its mistake)
⚡ December birthdays get in free (because who needs presents when you have tinnitus?) 🎂🔊
⚡ Lineup: rising artists who’ve sworn to vibrate your spleen
Bring your squad, your hearing aids, and a waiver for your chiropractor. 💀
On December 28th… we turn Avalon into a bass apocalypse. 🏙️🔥
Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
⚖️ ENTER THE LEGALIZER
Think the government has no idea what it's doing? Put your case before the Federal Case Terminal and find out.
