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Tag: News

Oh Great Another Opportunity for Quake 4 Fans to Cry Themselves to Sleep Over What Could Have Been
Breaking, Games News

Oh Great Another Opportunity for Quake 4 Fans to Cry Themselves to Sleep Over What Could Have Been

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat! 🎉 We’ve got some super exciting news about a game that’s…

Sony Generously Decides to Stop Being Cheap and Pays Out a Whopping $7.8 Million to People They Totally Didn’t Rip Off
Breaking News: Sony Gets Sued and Loses (Again) 🚀👊
Breaking, Games News

Sony Generously Decides to Stop Being Cheap and Pays Out a Whopping $7.8 Million to People They Totally Didn’t Rip Off

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Sony Interactive Entertainment has been slapped with a $7.85 million bill to refund select…

Sore losers cry as Trump secures election integrity
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sore losers cry as Trump secures election integrity

Big ElephantMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report that our great nation is still standing, despite…

Liberal Big Tech wasting America’s hard-earned cash again apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal Big Tech wasting America’s hard-earned cash again apparently

Big ElephantMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, the fake news is still spewing out their lies and propaganda, trying to take down our…

Comey, poor baby, can’t handle a little social media heat
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Comey, poor baby, can’t handle a little social media heat

Big ElephantMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

The so-called “experts” are at it again, trying to tear down our great nation and our fearless leader, President Donald…

Fake news: United Airlines has another epic fail at Newark
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news: United Airlines has another epic fail at Newark

Big ElephantMay 3, 2026May 3, 2026

It’s 2026 and our great nation is still thriving under the incredible leadership of President Donald Trump, the best president…

Games Done Quick Somehow Manages To Not Fall Asleep At gamescom 2026 While Watching Speedrunners Play The Same Old Games For The Millionth Time
Breaking, Games News

Games Done Quick Somehow Manages To Not Fall Asleep At gamescom 2026 While Watching Speedrunners Play The Same Old Games For The Millionth Time

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 3, 2026May 3, 2026

Big news, gamers! 🚨👀 Games Done Quick is finally coming to gamescom in Germany, because who doesn’t love a good…

Ex METALLICA Bassist JASON NEWSTED Finally Finds Something More Painful Than Listening To LULU
Breaking, Music News

Ex METALLICA Bassist JASON NEWSTED Finally Finds Something More Painful Than Listening To LULU

Chord F. DiscordMay 3, 2026May 3, 2026

Breaking news, folks! 🚨😱 Former METALLICA bassist Jason Newsted has just announced that he’s been battling throat cancer, and we’re…

Breaking News: Super Extra Special Never Before Seen Totally Not Made Up 5 Hour Directors Cut of Gremlins Accidentally Leaks and Its 3 Hours Longer Than That Other Thing You Saw
Breaking, Movie News

Breaking News: Super Extra Special Never Before Seen Totally Not Made Up 5 Hour Directors Cut of Gremlins Accidentally Leaks and Its 3 Hours Longer Than That Other Thing You Saw

FinnMay 3, 2026May 3, 2026

The secret’s out, folks! 🤫 A never-before-seen, 2-and-a-half-hour cut of Gremlins, yes, you read that right, 2.5 hours of gremlin…

Breaking News: Slayer’s Tom Araya Trades In His Mic For A Checkered Flag And Is Now Officially The Coolest Guy At The Würth 400 In Texas Because Who Needs To Headbang When You Can Rev Engines
Breaking, Music News

Breaking News: Slayer’s Tom Araya Trades In His Mic For A Checkered Flag And Is Now Officially The Coolest Guy At The Würth 400 In Texas Because Who Needs To Headbang When You Can Rev Engines

Chord F. DiscordMay 3, 2026May 3, 2026

Big news, folks! 🚨👀 Tom Araya, the legendary lead vocalist and bassist of the iconic thrash metal band SLAYER, has…

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  • Pope Releases Encyclical On Perils Of Disney’s ‘Star Wars’ Strategy
  • Liberal whiners complain about successful Americans getting even richer somehow
  • Loser Talarico desperately chasing Black voters away from Jasmine
  • Another elitist tech company joins the overhyped trillion dollar losers
  • Newsom Designates California Sanctuary State For Fraud

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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