Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • The Jackal Index
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Pantera

Chad Gray of Mudvayne Reminisces About Vinnie Paul: A Touching Tale of Friendship (and Drum Lessons?)
Breaking, Music News

Chad Gray of Mudvayne Reminisces About Vinnie Paul: A Touching Tale of Friendship (and Drum Lessons?)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 28, 2025September 28, 2025

So, Radioactive MikeZ, bless his heart (or whatever’s left of it), managed to wrangle MUDVAYNE’s very own Chad Gray onto…

STATIC-X Bassist Reminisces About Hanging With The Prince Of Darkness: “Ozzy Was, Like, Totally Awesome, Man”
Breaking, Music News

STATIC-X Bassist Reminisces About Hanging With The Prince Of Darkness: “Ozzy Was, Like, Totally Awesome, Man”

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

So, apparently, according to PipemanRadio at the totally important Bloodstock Open Air festival (never heard of it), STATIC-X bassist Tony…

CORROSION OF CONFORMITY Boasts About Meaningless ‘Double Album’: Claims It’s Their Most Meaningful Pile of Garbage Ever
Breaking, Music News

CORROSION OF CONFORMITY Boasts About Meaningless ‘Double Album’: Claims It’s Their Most Meaningful Pile of Garbage Ever

Chord F. DiscordAugust 17, 2025August 17, 2025

CORROSION OF CONFORMITY, bless their hearts, have FINALLY crawled out of their beer-soaked slumber and completed recording the sequel to…

DREAM THEATER Releases Graphic Novel: Prepare for Maximum Prog-Nostalgia Induced Coma
Breaking, Music News

DREAM THEATER Releases Graphic Novel: Prepare for Maximum Prog-Nostalgia Induced Coma

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful prog! 🙄 In October 2023, the planets aligned, the unicorns 🦄 danced, and Mike Portnoy, after a…

Sharon Osbourne Roasts Ridiculous Claims of $190M Charity Windfall: ‘Yeah Right’
Breaking, Music News

Sharon Osbourne Roasts Ridiculous Claims of $190M Charity Windfall: ‘Yeah Right’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 8, 2025August 8, 2025

Sharon Osbourne, the puppet master 🎭 behind the Prince of Darkness 🦇 (RIP, btw, spoiler alert 🚨), has come out…

Andi Deris of HELLOWEEN Was SOOOO Concerned About OZZY’s Health 25 Years Ago, It Kept Him Up at Least 10 Minutes a Night
Breaking, Music News

Andi Deris of HELLOWEEN Was SOOOO Concerned About OZZY’s Health 25 Years Ago, It Kept Him Up at Least 10 Minutes a Night

Chord F. DiscordAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

In an EXCLUSIVE interview with Ernest Skinner of Canada’s *checks notes* Border City Rock Talk (never heard of it), HELLOWEEN…

Witness the Glorious Trainwreck: Mariachi Band Violates Ozzy’s ‘Crazy Train’
Breaking, Music News

Witness the Glorious Trainwreck: Mariachi Band Violates Ozzy’s ‘Crazy Train’

Chord F. DiscordJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

Video of the Mariachi Rams, bless their cotton socks 🧦, playing a *slightly* butchered adaptation of the timeless 🕰️ Ozzy…

Ozzy’s Dead, Charts Go Wild: A Post-Mortem Billboard Bonanza
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s Dead, Charts Go Wild: A Post-Mortem Billboard Bonanza

Chord F. DiscordJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

According to Billboard.com, two of Ozzy Osbourne’s classic songs (and by “classic” we mean, like, kinda old) have FINALLY made…

Celine Dion, bless her heart, thinks Ozzy is ‘original’ LOL
Breaking, Music News

Celine Dion, bless her heart, thinks Ozzy is ‘original’ LOL

Chord F. DiscordJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

OMG! 😲 The world-renowned vocal powerhouse, Celine Dion, has finally acknowledged the existence of Ozzy Osbourne, you know, that bat-chomping…

Geezer Butler Says Ozzy’s Two-Week Post-Show Disappearance Was Totally Expected (Not!)
Breaking, Music News

Geezer Butler Says Ozzy’s Two-Week Post-Show Disappearance Was Totally Expected (Not!)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Geezer Butler, the only reason BLACK SABBATH had any semblance of lyrical coherence (allegedly), has graced us with his profound…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 4 … 6 Next

Latest posts

  • Beard Policy Clearly Working As Intended Says Hegseth
  • Foreign Company Lands Huge US Listing Because Who Needs Apple Anyway
  • Because You Clearly Needed More Amateur Film Criticism On The Internet Now
  • David Draiman Finally Finds Courage To Ruin Another Classic Song
  • Most Modern in Charlotte, NC (07/09/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}