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Tag: Sequel

Critics Hated This 2021 Action Flick, But Normies Adored It & A Sequel is Coming to Ruin the Party Later This Year
Breaking

Critics Hated This 2021 Action Flick, But Normies Adored It & A Sequel is Coming to Ruin the Party Later This Year

FinnMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

Mortal Kombat, or as I like to call it, “Flop Kombat,” caused such a disparity between audiences and critics that…

Charli XCX’s Brain Explodes With Genius Idea for Final Destination Sequel (And We’re Totally Not Rolling Our Eyes)
Breaking

Charli XCX’s Brain Explodes With Genius Idea for Final Destination Sequel (And We’re Totally Not Rolling Our Eyes)

FinnMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Dear, oh dear, are we seriously calling this the *Final Destination* summer? 🙄 Like, hasn’t death been trendy since, like,…

Regal’s $1 Summer Movie Express: Prepare for a Cinematic Rollercoaster of Cheap Thrills (and Questionable Films) in 2025
Breaking

Regal’s $1 Summer Movie Express: Prepare for a Cinematic Rollercoaster of Cheap Thrills (and Questionable Films) in 2025

FinnMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Regal’s Summer Movie Express (SMX) is BACK for 2025, baby! 🎉 Get ready to shell out a whopping $1 (yes,…

WHITECHAPEL Bravely Announces They’re Still Playing Music in 2025, Will Subject U.S. to ‘Hymns In Dissonance’ in Its Entirety
Breaking

WHITECHAPEL Bravely Announces They’re Still Playing Music in 2025, Will Subject U.S. to ‘Hymns In Dissonance’ in Its Entirety

Chord F. DiscordMay 27, 2025May 27, 2025

Alright, metalheads (and those who accidentally clicked on this link thinking it was a recipe for vegan cupcakes 🧁), buckle…

Oh Great, Another Witch Flick: Joey King Might Ruin ‘Practical Magic’
Breaking

Oh Great, Another Witch Flick: Joey King Might Ruin ‘Practical Magic’

FinnMay 26, 2025May 26, 2025

Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we’re about to dive headfirst into the cinematic dumpster fire that is…*drumroll*…’Practical Magic 2′! 🧙‍♀️🔮…

Lies of P: Overture – We Played It So You Don’t Have To (But You Will Anyway, You Pinocchio Simps)
Breaking

Lies of P: Overture – We Played It So You Don’t Have To (But You Will Anyway, You Pinocchio Simps)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 21, 2025May 21, 2025

When I first glimpsed the trailer for Lies of P: Overture, my reaction was a symphony of *meh*. Seriously, where’s…

Stellar Blade 2: Electric Boogaloo Confirmed (Mostly, Kinda, Maybe, Ask Your Accountant)
Breaking

Stellar Blade 2: Electric Boogaloo Confirmed (Mostly, Kinda, Maybe, Ask Your Accountant)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

BREAKING: Shift Up, Creators of the Game That Shall Not Be Named (Unless You’re Into That Sort of Thing), Confirm…

Keanu and Sandy Back Together Again? 😴 Guess Hollywood’s Officially Run Out of Ideas 🙄
Breaking

Keanu and Sandy Back Together Again? 😴 Guess Hollywood’s Officially Run Out of Ideas 🙄

FinnMay 11, 2025May 11, 2025

OMG! 😱 Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock are back together?! Is this real life? Or is this just fantasy? Caught…

“Another Simple Favor”: Or, How Blake Lively Robbed Me of Two Hours I’ll Never Get Back 🙄🎬
Breaking

“Another Simple Favor”: Or, How Blake Lively Robbed Me of Two Hours I’ll Never Get Back 🙄🎬

FinnMay 2, 2025May 2, 2025

So, ‘Another Simple Favor’ got a whopping 7 out of 10 stars, huh? 🙄 Must be a slow news day.…

Oh great, get ready for “Greyhound 2: Electric Boogaloo,” where Tom Hanks fights space pirates on a bus fueled by earnestness and Apple stock options 🙄🚌🍎🚀.
Breaking

Oh great, get ready for “Greyhound 2: Electric Boogaloo,” where Tom Hanks fights space pirates on a bus fueled by earnestness and Apple stock options 🙄🚌🍎🚀.

FinnApril 27, 2025April 27, 2025

OMG! 😱 Tom Hanks, bless his cotton socks, is back for ‘Greyhound 2: Electric Boogaloo’! Because, you know, the first…

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