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Tag: Split

Analysis: Government Shutdown Crisis: A Comedy of Errors in Zero Acts
Elephant Reads CNN

Analysis: Government Shutdown Crisis: A Comedy of Errors in Zero Acts

Big ElephantOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

Oh, the horror! The radical Democrats, in cahoots with the Deep State, are at it again, trying to undermine our…

M. Night Shyamalan Ruins the Magic 8 Ball with a TV Show No One Asked For
Breaking, Movie News

M. Night Shyamalan Ruins the Magic 8 Ball with a TV Show No One Asked For

FinnOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

  🤡 A Magic 8 Ball TV show? Oh, honey, the signs point to… maybe? I mean, who asked for…

OMG! Remember After Forever? Mark Jansen’s Old Band (Pre-Epica, LOL) Reunites for Some 25th-Anniversary Gigs
Breaking, Music News

OMG! Remember After Forever? Mark Jansen’s Old Band (Pre-Epica, LOL) Reunites for Some 25th-Anniversary Gigs

Chord F. DiscordOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

So, Mark Jansen’s band before the one everyone actually cares about, AFTER FOREVER, decided to dust off their instruments and…

Troops, Martian Dust Devils, and a Boozy Bar: Riveting CNN News That Will Change Your Life Forever
Elephant Reads CNN

Troops, Martian Dust Devils, and a Boozy Bar: Riveting CNN News That Will Change Your Life Forever

Big ElephantOctober 8, 2025October 8, 2025

Ah, CNN, still peddling their leftist drivel, I see. Let’s dissect this pathetic attempt at news, shall we? Prepare for…

Xbox Game Pass: Now With EVEN MORE Ways to Spend Your Money
Breaking, Games News

Xbox Game Pass: Now With EVEN MORE Ways to Spend Your Money

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

Behold, peasants! 👋 Xbox Game Pass, your beloved digital babysitter, is getting a ✨*glow-up*✨ that will make your wallets cry.…

Dave Lombardo’s tell-all: The book that will make you say ‘He said WHAT?’
Breaking, Music News

Dave Lombardo’s tell-all: The book that will make you say ‘He said WHAT?’

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Breaking News! 🚨 Dave Lombardo, the dude who used to hit things in SLAYER (allegedly), is STILL ALIVE! 👴 He’s…

From Crazy Cat Guy to (Maybe) Crazy Mayor: This Election Just Got Furry-ous
Elephant Reads CNN

From Crazy Cat Guy to (Maybe) Crazy Mayor: This Election Just Got Furry-ous

Big ElephantSeptember 14, 2025September 14, 2025

Folks, can you believe this garbage from CNN? They’re trying to make a hero out of this cat-loving, subway-riding weirdo,…

Garfield Kart 2: All You Can NOT Drift (Because You’ll Be Too Busy Crashing) – Now Available to Humiliate Your Console With a Brand New Trailer of Disappointment
Breaking, Games News

Garfield Kart 2: All You Can NOT Drift (Because You’ll Be Too Busy Crashing) – Now Available to Humiliate Your Console With a Brand New Trailer of Disappointment

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 😱 They actually did it. Eden Games, those absolute madlads, have unleashed Garfield Kart 2 – All…

SNOT Aims to Drop New Full-Length Album in 2026: Because Apparently, the World Needs More ‘Funky Punk Attitude’
Breaking, Music News

SNOT Aims to Drop New Full-Length Album in 2026: Because Apparently, the World Needs More ‘Funky Punk Attitude’

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 1, 2025September 1, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Ore Bihovsky from TotalRock’s riveting “Louder” radio show, SNOT guitarist and resident genius Mikey Doling…

Dino Claims New Guy Sounds Just Like Burton… From Like, Way Back In The Stone Age
Breaking, Music News

Dino Claims New Guy Sounds Just Like Burton… From Like, Way Back In The Stone Age

Chord F. DiscordAugust 30, 2025August 30, 2025

In a recent totally unbiased and not-at-all-paid-for interview with Metalshop TV, FEAR FACTORY’s very own guitar “hero” Dino Cazares graced…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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