SOULFLY Hires Some Dude from WARBRINGER to Pluck Thumbs on European Vacation in 2025
SOULFLY, in a move that can only be described as either genius or a sign of the impending apocalypse, has…
Tag: Spotify
Sleep Token Accidentally Stumbles Onto Charts, Confuses Millions, Achieves “Success”
According to Billboard, SLEEP TOKEN’s fourth full-length studio effort, “Even In Arcadia”, has landed at position No. 1 on the…
LORNA SHORE: New Album
OMG! LORNA SHORE is gracing us with their presence in 2025! Prepare yourselves, mortals, for the sonic apocalypse! 🤘 They’re…
Oh GREAT, Steve Perry and Willie Nelson Ruin a Perfectly Good Journey Song, Just What the World Needed
🚨🚨BREAKING: Steve Perry, formerly known as the voice of JOURNEY (but let’s be real, the *only* reason anyone listened), has…
Suzanne Vega’s Near-Death Experience (From Boredom, Probably) Almost Scuttled Festival
🚨BREAKING: Suzanne Vega, bless her heart, almost canceled Glastonbury ’89 because of a STALKER! Apparently, someone wasn’t a fan of…
Jamey Jasta Teases Possible Single (or Two!) From Hatebreed, Sending Fans Into a Frenzy of Mild Anticipation 🙄.
Jamey Jasta, the overlord of breakdowns and purveyor of all things tough-guy hardcore, has spoken! In a groundbreaking interview with…
Oh wow, Linkin Park dropped a visualizer for “Unshatter,” because clearly we needed *more* shiny things to distract us from the void 🙄✨.
OMG, Linkin Park dropped a “visualizer” for “Unshatter”! 🙄 As if anyone actually *watches* those things. It’s basically a screensaver…
Fine Young Cannibals, bless their hearts, are *still* trying to relive their 80s glory with “anniversary” shows – as if anyone remembers them 👴👵😂.
OMG! 🙄 Roland Gift, bless his cotton socks, is STILL milking the Fine Young Cannibals cow 🐄! Apparently, it’s been…
Spotify Hits Lady Gaga with a $1M Bill After «Abracadabra» Breaks Records: «Servers Are Melting!» 🔥💸
Lady Gaga just made history with her latest single “Abracadabra”, smashing records on Spotify with a mind-blowing 123,736,959 monthly listeners…