Return To Silent Hill: Because the First One Wasn’t Traumatic Enough
Oh, sweet Jesus, another Silent Hill movie? 🙄 Because the last few weren’t cinematic masterpieces that redefined horror as we…
Tag: Triumph
“The Chronology of Water” Trailer: Witness Kristen Stewart Direct Imogen Poots (and Probably Overthink It)
Oh, sweet baby Jesus, another artsy-fartsy film nobody asked for! The Chronology of Water, a cinematic masterpiece (according to who,…
Monarch: Legacy of Monsters Season 2 Teaser Drops, Release Date Announced (Prepare for More Monster Mash Madness)
Apple TV, in its infinite wisdom (or maybe just infinite budget), has decided to unleash another season of its critically…
Colin Farrell and the Russo Brothers are Teaming Up to Ruin Another Comic Book Movie
Oh, great, another Colin Farrell comic book movie 🙄. Fresh off his *totally* unforgettable role as Penguin (you know, the…
‘Gremlins 3’: Oh Great, More Furry Little Nightmares Incoming
OMG! 😱 35 years after the last cinematic masterpiece 🎬 (or should we say, cash grab?) Warner Bros. is FINALLY…
Static & Wife: A Love Story for the Ages (Said No One Ever)
OMG! 😱 Matt Zane, the visionary behind such cinematic masterpieces as Wayne Static’s solo videos 🙄, is launching a crowdfunding…
Nintendo’s Movie Rampage: Prepare for a Never-Ending Stream of Pixelated Blockbusters
Well, well, well, look who’s decided to grace the silver screen again! 🙄 Nintendo, bless their hearts, is apparently doubling…
CNN’s 2025 Election Day Brain-Meltdown: 5 Questions That Will Make You Question Reality (and CNN’s Sanity)
The Libs are at it Again! Another Day, Another Conspiracy to Rig Elections Against Our Beloved President Trump! Americans are…
SAVATAGE Announces 2026 ‘Prelude To Mild Discomfort’ European Tour (Maybe)
OMG! 😱 Those geriatric metal “pioneers” SAVATAGE, bless their hearts, have announced their “Prelude To What?🤔 Dementia?” tour, featuring a…
Black Lace Doc Trailer: Still Pushing Pineapples or Just Selling Nostalgia One Fruit at a Time
Tull Stories and Labor of Love Films (lol, the irony) are inflicting upon the world Still Pushing Pineapples, a “moving…