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Tag: UK

Behold! UK’s First Super-Safe Injection Funhouse
Elephant Reads CNN

Behold! UK’s First Super-Safe Injection Funhouse

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! This time they’re across the pond, fawning over some ‘safe space’ for junkies…

Deftones Announce 2026 European Tour: Prepare for the Nu-Metal Nap
Events, Music News

Deftones Announce 2026 European Tour: Prepare for the Nu-Metal Nap

Chord F. DiscordJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

DEFTONES, those purveyors of… *checks notes* …experimental noise-rock (sure, why not?), have graced us with news that they’re hitting Europe…

Night at the Museum: More Like Day of the Same Old Crud
Breaking, Movie News

Night at the Museum: More Like Day of the Same Old Crud

FinnJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

Oh, great, another reboot! 🙄 Because Hollywood is just overflowing with original ideas, right? 20th Century Studios is apparently so…

PARADISE LOST Drops New Banger ‘Serpent On The Cross’ from ‘Ascension’ Album (Prepare to be Underwhelmed)
Breaking

PARADISE LOST Drops New Banger ‘Serpent On The Cross’ from ‘Ascension’ Album (Prepare to be Underwhelmed)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

Oh great, more doomy dirges from the geriatric goth squad, PARADISE LOST! 🙄 They’ve just dropped a new “music video”…

The Obsessed Gets Desperate, Hires Monster Magnet’s Leftovers
Events

The Obsessed Gets Desperate, Hires Monster Magnet’s Leftovers

Chord F. DiscordJuly 10, 2025July 10, 2025

OMG! 😱 Those geriatric architects of American “doom” metal, THE OBSESSED, are shaking things up… AGAIN! 🙄 Drummer Brian Costantino…

‘Jurassic World Rebirth’: Dinosaurs Ate My Homework (and the Box Office)
Breaking, Movie News

‘Jurassic World Rebirth’: Dinosaurs Ate My Homework (and the Box Office)

FinnJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

OMG! 🦖 ‘Jurassic World Rebirth’ Ate the Box Office (Like a Raptor Eating a Goat)! 🐐 Seriously, who knew people…

Sananda Maitreya, bless his heart, crawls out of obscurity for a UK tour after 23 years
Events

Sananda Maitreya, bless his heart, crawls out of obscurity for a UK tour after 23 years

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Sananda Maitreya, formerly known as Terence Trent D’Arby (because apparently, one name wasn’t pretentious enough), announces a whopping nine-date UK…

CNN: Trump and Bibi’s Excellent Iranian Adventure: The Sequel
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump and Bibi’s Excellent Iranian Adventure: The Sequel

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, CNN, always spinning tales of “stabilization” after President Trump’s *unprecedented* smackdown of Iran. Unprecedented because no other President had…

SLAYER’s Back, Apparently London Didn’t Suffer Enough The First Time
Breaking, Music News

SLAYER’s Back, Apparently London Didn’t Suffer Enough The First Time

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

So, the geriatric thrash metal “legends” 👴 SLAYER, fresh from their crypts, decided to grace us with their presence for…

Bessent threatens tariff tantrum: ‘Liberation Day’ or negotiation nation, your choice, world
Elephant Reads CNN

Bessent threatens tariff tantrum: ‘Liberation Day’ or negotiation nation, your choice, world

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2025July 6, 2025

Oh, the liberal media is at it again, trying to make President Trump’s brilliant trade moves sound like the end…

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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