Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Wednesday

Could your airport close if TSA screeners don’t show up to work? Here’s what experts say (or don’t say because they’re too busy not showing up)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Could your airport close if TSA screeners don’t show up to work? Here’s what experts say (or don’t say because they’re too busy not showing up)

Big ElephantMarch 18, 2026March 18, 2026

Liberal Incompetence Strikes Again: TSA Blames Airport Shutdowns on Democrat-Triggered Shutdown Well, folks, here we go again! Thanks to the…

Trump’s Epic Battle with Iran: Will It Ruin His Dream of Fed Rate Cuts and Ruin His Plans for World Domination?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Epic Battle with Iran: Will It Ruin His Dream of Fed Rate Cuts and Ruin His Plans for World Domination?

Big ElephantMarch 18, 2026March 18, 2026

Liberal Energy Policies Backfire as War with Iran Drives Up Costs and Delays Fed Rate Cuts The US-Israeli war with…

Blood of the Wolf Man – Joshua Williamson and Leomacs Try Not to Get Eaten by Universal’s Latest Monster Mash
Universal Monsters: Blood of the Wolf Man #1 - Because Nothing Says "Fresh Take" Like 1970s Nostalgia
Breaking, Movie News

Blood of the Wolf Man – Joshua Williamson and Leomacs Try Not to Get Eaten by Universal’s Latest Monster Mash

FinnMarch 16, 2026March 16, 2026

Skybound Entertainment and Image Comics, in partnership with Universal Products & Experiences, today announced Universal Monsters: Blood of the Wolf…

Ex-SLIPKNOT Drummer JAY WEINBERG Unloads His Drum Kits, Masks, And Outfits—Because Who Needs Souvenirs From A Band That’s Probably Already Forgotten Him?
OMG, Jay Weinberg's Selling His Old Drums — Quick, Buy Before He Becomes a TikTok Drummer!
Breaking, Music News

Ex-SLIPKNOT Drummer JAY WEINBERG Unloads His Drum Kits, Masks, And Outfits—Because Who Needs Souvenirs From A Band That’s Probably Already Forgotten Him?

Chord F. DiscordMarch 11, 2026March 11, 2026

After 17 years of beating the hell out of drums for artists like BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, SLIPKNOT, and SUICIDAL TENDENCIES, Jay…

Word of the Week: Brent Crude Oil’s Wild Ride — Who’s This Brent Dude Anyway?
The Great Brent Oil Fiasco: A Tale of Woe and Confusion
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Word of the Week: Brent Crude Oil’s Wild Ride — Who’s This Brent Dude Anyway?

Big ElephantMarch 11, 2026March 11, 2026

Oh, “Brent,” you poor, confused little oil benchmark! The global markets are in a tizzy over you, as if you’re…

When Will Your Wallet Finally Get a Break at the Gas Station?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

When Will Your Wallet Finally Get a Break at the Gas Station?

Big ElephantMarch 11, 2026March 11, 2026

Gas Prices Still Sky-High Despite Oil Market Dip – Trump’s Economic Magic Not Working Yet Despite global oil prices dropping…

Border Patrol Checkpoint Chase Ends in Texas with Suspect Getting a One-Way Ticket to the Afterlife, Officials Report
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Border Patrol Checkpoint Chase Ends in Texas with Suspect Getting a One-Way Ticket to the Afterlife, Officials Report

Big ElephantMarch 4, 2026March 4, 2026

Breaking: Another Liberal Triggered Snowflake Meets His Match at the Border! In a shocking turn of events that will no…

Live

“Breaking News: Politicians Finally Decide Kids Are Worth Protecting—Sort Of”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 24, 2026

Attention all child-care warriors! The Victorian Early Childhood Regulatory Authority (VECRA) is here to save the day with their “National…

‘Wednesday’ Season 3 Is In Production – With Big New Stars, Including That One Guy From That Thing
Breaking, Movie News

‘Wednesday’ Season 3 Is In Production – With Big New Stars, Including That One Guy From That Thing

FinnFebruary 23, 2026February 23, 2026

The internet’s favorite black-clad, death-obsessed teenager is dusting off her nevermore uniform and sharpening her cheekbones for another round of…

TOMAHAWK To Rip Your Ears Off After 13-Year Nap; Summer Tour Will Be Powered By THE MELVINS’ Cosmic Fuzz
OH, GREAT. TOMAHAWK AND THE MELVINS ARE GOING ON TOUR AGAIN.
Breaking, Live, Music News

TOMAHAWK To Rip Your Ears Off After 13-Year Nap; Summer Tour Will Be Powered By THE MELVINS’ Cosmic Fuzz

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 23, 2026February 23, 2026

In what can only be described as a desperate attempt to relive their glory days, TOMAHAWK is hitting the road…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 11 12 13 … 19 Next

Latest posts

  • GOP Tries Sinking Sherrod Brown With Unlikely New BFFs
  • Spin of the Day: Trump’s Education Department reduced investigations into campus discrimination and sexual assault. — 11% Mostly Reality
  • Billy Corgan Questions Kanye Wests Possible Borrowed Fame Tactics
  • GOP Voters Anxiously Await Trump’s Next Impulsive International Incident
  • JD Vance thrilled to explain his super normal politics

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.