World’s First Wooden Satellite Launched Into Space
Read MoreThe OnionThe world’s first wooden satellite was launched into space in an early test of using timber in lunar…
Month: November 2024
BREAKING: Arizona Announces They Have Counted Another Ballot
PHOENIX, AZ — Election authorities in Arizona proudly announced today that their round-the-clock efforts have at last resulted in another…
🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!
Hold onto your space helmets, folks! Amazon MGM Studios has decided that saving the galaxy from annihilation wasn’t quite epic…
Jimmy Kimmel Ratings Soar After Debuting New Segment Where He Stands There All Sad And Cries Like A Wuss
U.S. — Ratings for Jimmy Kimmel’s late-night show soared this past week after he debuted a new segment where he…
Tour Drama: CKY’s Chad I Ginsburg «Heroically» Clocks Alien Ant Farm Vocalist – Here’s Why Fans are Cheering «Bravo» 😎
In a bizarre twist fit for the rock ‘n’ roll hall of infamy, Chad I Ginsburg, the outspoken and occasionally…
Trump Boys Have Slap Fight Over Who Gets To Run Foreign Policy Meetings
Read MoreThe OnionPALM BEACH, FL—Lashing furiously at each other’s faces with their flailing hands, the Trump boys were reportedly engaged…
Rosie O’Donnell Vows To Continue 38-Year Sex Strike
MALIBU, CA — In an impassioned announcement made in protest of President-Elect Donald Trump’s victory Tuesday night, celebrity Rosie O’Donnell…
Democrats Search For Answers After Trump Victory
Read MoreThe OnionDemocrats across the country were left in disbelief as they confronted the reality of another Donald Trump presidency,…
Here Is A Complete List Of The Rights You Just Lost Now That Trump Has Been Elected
Trump is now President-Elect and we are now living in the Handmaid’s Tale and all our rights are gone and…
What To Know About Zyn
The OnionZyn, a brand of nicotine pouches, has surged in popularity, particularly among young men. Here is what you need…