Skip to content
logo4

Jackal.Today

News that makes you want to howl!

  • Home
  • Breaking
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Sport News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Advertise with us!
  • Editorial
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Month: July 2025

US “Accidentally” Misplaces Some Boom-Booms Meant for Ukraine (Oops!)
Elephant Reads CNN

US “Accidentally” Misplaces Some Boom-Booms Meant for Ukraine (Oops!)

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

The Pentagon is pausing some shipments to Ukraine? Oh, no! Looks like Trump is finally putting America first! This “review…

Federal Judge Hilariously Overrules Trump’s Petty Attempt to Kick Out Haitian Migrants, CNN Reports
Elephant Reads CNN

Federal Judge Hilariously Overrules Trump’s Petty Attempt to Kick Out Haitian Migrants, CNN Reports

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 1, 2025

Another activist judge, probably appointed by some RINO, is trying to undermine President Trump’s efforts to secure our borders! This…

Bakari Sellers Thinks Trump’s ‘Alligator Alcatraz’ Is, Like, Totally Un-American, OMG
Elephant Reads CNN

Bakari Sellers Thinks Trump’s ‘Alligator Alcatraz’ Is, Like, Totally Un-American, OMG

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 1, 2025

Oh, cry me a river, lib! “Alligator Alcatraz” sounds like a fantastic deterrent for the thugs and MS-13 scum that…

Columbia Bribes US News with $9M to Reclaim Fake Ranking
Elephant Reads CNN

Columbia Bribes US News with $9M to Reclaim Fake Ranking

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Oh, the tangled web these liberal elites weave! Columbia University, a breeding ground for radical leftists, has been caught red-handed…

Overpriced Food on Wheels and Questionable Crafts Festival
Events

Overpriced Food on Wheels and Questionable Crafts Festival

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 2, 2025

**OMG! 3-Day Fest at Ozinga Field, 14011 Kenton Ave, Crestwood, IL 60418, July 4-6, 2025, 12:30-7:30p! 🤣 “BEST Vendors” (lol).…

Trump’s Pixelated Madness: The White House Wants Control Over Minecraft’s Rare Earth Metals
Every New Minecraft World Now Comes With an IRS Auditor, Thanks to Trump
Games News

Trump’s Pixelated Madness: The White House Wants Control Over Minecraft’s Rare Earth Metals

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

The legendary game Minecraft, developed by Mojang, is at the center of a new international scandal. Recently, a teaser for…

Armageddon from WARKINGS: The Ultimate Block Party From Hell
Breaking, Music News

Armageddon from WARKINGS: The Ultimate Block Party From Hell

Chord F. DiscordJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Ah yes, WARKINGS. Those titans of… uh… Western European metal?🤔 I guess that’s a thing now. Anyway, they’ve apparently put…

Another Abuela Bites the Dust, Courtesy of ICE
Elephant Reads CNN

Another Abuela Bites the Dust, Courtesy of ICE

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Another day, another sob story from CNN about a poor, defenseless immigrant! This 75-year-old Cuban “immigrant” (read: probably a spy…

UK Police Release Updated Chart Showing Who You’re Allowed To Be Racist Against
Babylon Bee

UK Police Release Updated Chart Showing Who You’re Allowed To Be Racist Against

Finn McFrameJuly 1, 2025

LONDON — In a move intended to help citizens direct their hatred toward the appropriate parties, UK police released an…

Naples Princess: Freedom Fries & Seasickness
Events

Naples Princess: Freedom Fries & Seasickness

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 1, 2025

Ahoy, mateys! ⚓ Join the Naples Princess Ship for a sunset cruise on July 4th. Fireworks, VIP open bar (3…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 6 7 8 … 11 Next

Most Viewed Posts

  • Are You Sure This Is Linkin Park? Fans Claim New Song Sounds Like Paramore! 🎸 (1,357)
  • 😱 New Days of Thunder Sequel Set to Drive Woke Hollywood Wild! 🏁💥 (1,348)
  • Yoda Goes Black, Chewbacca’s New Pronouns: Lucasfilm’s Wild Plans for Star Wars 😱🌟 (1,298)
  • 🎮 BioWare’s «Mancleaners» and the New Woman Effect: A Look Inside the Studio’s Gender Revolution 💼 (1,133)
  • New Polls Show That Trump Will Definitely Win Unless Harris Wins (930)

Latest posts

  • What’s In Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill
  • ‘Crimson Tide 2: Electric Boogaloo’ Incoming
  • Diddy Do-Right (Or Did He Do Wrong?) A Hilarious Look at How the Prosecution Totally Fumbled the Bag
  • Coney Island’s Summer Biz Starts with People Stuffing Their Faces with Hot Dogs, What a World
  • Xiaomi’s Mix Flip 2: Finally, a Foldable That Won’t Break the Bank (Unless You Buy All the Accessories)

Archives

  • July 2025
  • June 2025
  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn McFrame October 8, 2024
Editorial
! Editorial strike2
Editorial

🔥 Jackal.Today Journalists Go on Strike: «Too Much Money, Too Much Freedom — Enough Is Enough!»

Finn McFrame January 29, 2025
July 2025
M T W T F S S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2025 Jackal.Today | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}