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Month: July 2025

Overpriced Dandiya Night Starring Someone You’ve Never Heard Of, At A Waterpark
Events

Overpriced Dandiya Night Starring Someone You’ve Never Heard Of, At A Waterpark

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 30, 2025

**OMG! 😱 Austin Garba Festival with Bhoomi Trivedi at Kalahari Resort!** Tickets? SURE! 🙄 But refunds? LOL, only if they…

Social Security to Seniors: “U Up?” (But Only If You Can Pass Our Vibe Check First)
Elephant Reads CNN

Social Security to Seniors: “U Up?” (But Only If You Can Pass Our Vibe Check First)

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, the Social Security Administration is at it again, folks! Looks like they’re finally cracking down on all those fraudsters…

GOP Senators Confirm Totally Not Controversial Trump Lawyer to Lifetime Gig, Libs Still Crying
Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Senators Confirm Totally Not Controversial Trump Lawyer to Lifetime Gig, Libs Still Crying

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Another Deep State Operative Foiled! Despite the Left’s best efforts, President Trump’s nominee, Emil Bove, has been confirmed as a…

‘Happy Gilmore 2’ Bombs So Hard It Breaks Netflix’s Servers
Breaking, Movie News

‘Happy Gilmore 2’ Bombs So Hard It Breaks Netflix’s Servers

FinnJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, sweet golfing gods, bow down to the cinematic masterpiece that is Happy Gilmore 2! 🏌️‍♂️ After a grueling 30-year…

An Ocean Ov Wonderful, Delightful, Pleasant, Heavenly Paradise
Breaking, Music News

An Ocean Ov Wonderful, Delightful, Pleasant, Heavenly Paradise

Chord F. DiscordJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

So, the prevailing wisdom is that TRUE heaviness only exists if your guitar strings are so loose they could double…

Oops! Orange Man Says “No More Bargain Bin” for Indian Goodies, Might Slap ‘Em with a 25% “Because I Can” Tax
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Orange Man Says “No More Bargain Bin” for Indian Goodies, Might Slap ‘Em with a 25% “Because I Can” Tax

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Another day, another opportunity for President Trump to MAGA! He’s not afraid to call out these countries like India, who…

Inside 345 Park Avenue: A Totally Normal Day Until, You Know, *That* Happened
Elephant Reads CNN

Inside 345 Park Avenue: A Totally Normal Day Until, You Know, *That* Happened

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Folks, can you believe what happened in New York City? Another day, another mass shooting, and where does it happen?…

GOP Brainstorm: How to Rig Senate Rules to Fast-Track Trump’s Cronies
Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Brainstorm: How to Rig Senate Rules to Fast-Track Trump’s Cronies

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

The liberal media is at it again, folks! CNN is reporting that Senate Republicans are considering options to speed up…

ICE Cold: They Let the Marine’s Wife Go (Probably ‘Cause the Baby Was Crying)
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE Cold: They Let the Marine’s Wife Go (Probably ‘Cause the Baby Was Crying)

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Well, folks, another day, another sob story from the Fake News peddlers at CNN! They’re at it again, trying to…

Alice Cooper’s Grand Return: Prepare to be Rocked (in a Wheelchair)
Breaking, Music News

Alice Cooper’s Grand Return: Prepare to be Rocked (in a Wheelchair)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

So, Ozzy is finally pushing up daisies , and we’re all weeping into our lukewarm beers , aren’t we? But…

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Latest posts

  • ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae
  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry
  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins
  • Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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