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Day: December 12, 2025

Events

New Year’s Resolutions Online Ceremony So Dull It’s Basically Performance Art

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 12, 2025

Get ready to spiritually manifest your dream year while still in pajama pants! This online shamanic ceremony promises to align…

Why Midlife Turns Neurodivergent Women Into Human Puzzles and How to Fake Being Solved
Events

Why Midlife Turns Neurodivergent Women Into Human Puzzles and How to Fake Being Solved

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 12, 2025

If you’re a neurodivergent woman and your midlife feels like your brain, body, and hormones are staging a coup, congratulations…

Virtual Workshop for Africa: Build Apps in Minutes with AI and Zero Coding Skills
Events

Virtual Workshop for Africa: Build Apps in Minutes with AI and Zero Coding Skills

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 12, 2025

Africa, grab your popcorn! 🍿 The Vibe Coding Masterclass is here to turn your wildest WhatsApp chat ideas into actual…

HHS Throws Industry Power Hour Because SHB Technology Realized Paperwork Is the Real Performance Enhancer
Events

HHS Throws Industry Power Hour Because SHB Technology Realized Paperwork Is the Real Performance Enhancer

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 12, 2025

🚨 HHS Power Hour: Where bureaucrats battle boredom & contractors chase ghost contracts! 🥇 Join the circus on Feb 13,…

Babylon Bee

California Family Still Waiting For Permit To Build Gingerbread House

FinnDecember 12, 2025

    PACIFIC PALISADES, CA — Bucking years of tradition, a family new to the California area had failed to build…

Check out a sneak peek of the new Street Fighter movie and witness martial arts chaos that’s almost as real as the plot
Breaking, Movie News

Check out a sneak peek of the new Street Fighter movie and witness martial arts chaos that’s almost as real as the plot

FinnDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: The Street Fighter Movie Just Dropped a Trailer and the Internet Has Already Lost 1000 Lives 🚨 🎮💥…

John Carpenter’s Toxic Commando (PC) Preview—When Your Graphics Card Cries for Help
Breaking, Games News

John Carpenter’s Toxic Commando (PC) Preview—When Your Graphics Card Cries for Help

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

Imagine a world where the only thing standing between you and total existential dread is a chainsaw, a chainsaw-wielding mutant,…

Watch: EVANESCENCE Plays ‘Afterlife’ At 2025 GAME AWARDS—Apparently the Afterlife Is Full of Loot Boxes
Breaking, Games News, Music News

Watch: EVANESCENCE Plays ‘Afterlife’ At 2025 GAME AWARDS—Apparently the Afterlife Is Full of Loot Boxes

Chord F. DiscordDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

EVANESCENCE Just Stole the Show at the Game Awards, Because Apparently, Video Games Needed a Goth Makeover 🎮🖤 In a…

BRIAN WHEAT, TOMMY SKEOCH And CHRIS HOLMES Reveal How Their Midlife Crisis Turned Into a ‘Rocking’ New Collaborative Project Called TERMINAL
Breaking, Music News

BRIAN WHEAT, TOMMY SKEOCH And CHRIS HOLMES Reveal How Their Midlife Crisis Turned Into a ‘Rocking’ New Collaborative Project Called TERMINAL

Chord F. DiscordDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Rock Band Supergroup Formed! 🎸 All Your Faves Are Collabing on a New Project Called TERMINAL! 💥 In…

‘Supergirl’ Trailer Easter Eggs: All the Secrets You Missed (You Probably Squeezed Your Brain Over Nothing)
Breaking, Movie News

‘Supergirl’ Trailer Easter Eggs: All the Secrets You Missed (You Probably Squeezed Your Brain Over Nothing)

FinnDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Supergirl Movie Announced, Internet Immediately Splits Into Two Camps — People Who Care and People Who Are Obviously…

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Latest posts

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  • OZZY OSBOURNE’s Super Gross Throne That He Probably Peed On A Few Times To Be Glorified At Birmingham Museum & Art Gallery Like It’s A Real Historical Artifact Or Something
  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Plate of Jollof Rice You’ve Ever Had at Atlanta African Restaurant Week Festival 2026
  • Get Ready to Wine and Pretend You’re a Sophisticated Adult in San Diego’s Upcoming Wine Crawl

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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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