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Day: December 23, 2025

Ben Sasse Announces Pancreatic Cancer Diagnosis, Confirms He’s Basically Already a Ghost
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ben Sasse Announces Pancreatic Cancer Diagnosis, Confirms He’s Basically Already a Ghost

Big ElephantDecember 23, 2025December 23, 2025

Ben Sasse, the Trump-critic-turned-University-of-Florida-flunky-turned-cancer-patient, has finally found a worthy opponent: his own pancreas. In a stunning turn of events, the…

The scariest fighter you can ever go against
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The scariest fighter you can ever go against

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 23, 2025

He’s prolly the last child Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

Self-Care is a Joke and Your Soul Needs a Nap
Live

Self-Care is a Joke and Your Soul Needs a Nap

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 23, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Webinar Aims to Cure Existential Dread with 45 Minutes of “Wellness Tips” 🧘‍♂️✨ Join us on Feb 17, 2026…

Leeds Creative Labs: Where Your Ideas Go to Die (But Look Really Pretty Doing It)
Live

Leeds Creative Labs: Where Your Ideas Go to Die (But Look Really Pretty Doing It)

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 23, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Leeds Creative Labs Announces New Residency Where Artists and Academics Can Stare at Each Other Confused for 6…

How to Turn Your ADHD Into a Six-Figure Consulting Scam (Without Actually Scamming Anyone)
Live

How to Turn Your ADHD Into a Six-Figure Consulting Scam (Without Actually Scamming Anyone)

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 23, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Autistic People Actually Have Culture?! Yale Finally Notices in 2025 🚨 Join the Cultural Autism Studies at Yale…

Litríocht nua na hArdteiste Dordán: An tAifreann a Dúirt leis an gCúlú ar an gCultúr
Live

Litríocht nua na hArdteiste Dordán: An tAifreann a Dúirt leis an gCúlú ar an gCultúr

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 23, 2025

🚨 ACHTUNG! Zoom Zoom: An Dordán Literacy Challenge 🚨 Dé Céadaoin 07/01/2026, 19:00 – 20:00, Ceardlann Zoom eagraithe ag An…

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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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