Self-Care is a Joke and Your Soul Needs a Nap

🚨BREAKING: Webinar Aims to Cure Existential Dread with 45 Minutes of “Wellness Tips” 🧘‍♂️✨ Join us on Feb 17, 2026 @ 12:30 PM for a life-changing journey through the mystical realm of “things that might be good for you.” Speakers will reveal ancient secrets like “drink water” and “maybe touch grass.” Sponsored by the Ministry of Obvious Advice. 🥦💡 #SelfCareOrScam?