LONDON—Delighting his schoolmates as he weaved a rich tapestry of life in the United States, newly returned British exchange student Ethan Rowe, 15, reportedly regaled his friends Tuesday with stories of food that tastes good. “In America they use salt, and they have sauces other than malt vinegar and brown!” Rowe said to growing throngs of uniformed secondary schoolers, who oohed and aahed at his descriptions of “leafy vegetables” and of sausages that had texture and were not made of coagulated blood. “There are pizzas with toppings like ‘fig’ and ‘arugula’, and the thinnest, crisp crust, and they have roast ‘barbecue’ meats that are flavorful instead of plain. As for breakfast, they have something called ‘breakfast burritos,’ which are little rolls of delicious fried potatoes and egg, served with a red or green dressing called ‘salsa.’ And there’s not a mashed turnip in sight!” At press time, sources confirmed Rowe was receiving pushback from schoolmates who denied it was possible to add seasoning to a meal.
The post British Teen Returning From Semester In U.S. Regales Friends With Tale Of Food That Tastes Good appeared first on The Onion.
LONDON—Delighting his schoolmates as he weaved a rich tapestry of life in the United States, newly returned British exchange student Ethan Rowe, 15, reportedly regaled his friends Tuesday with stories of food that tastes good. “In America they use salt, and they have sauces other than malt vinegar and brown!” Rowe said to growing throngs
The post British Teen Returning From Semester In U.S. Regales Friends With Tale Of Food That Tastes Good appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
