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Day: January 7, 2026

Decolonise Fest: Government-Funded Punk Festival Bans Whites From Leadership While Preaching Equality
What Is Decolonise Fest? Inside the Punk Festival Accused of Racial Exclusion
Breaking, Music News

Decolonise Fest: Government-Funded Punk Festival Bans Whites From Leadership While Preaching Equality

FinnJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

Decolonise Fest, an upcoming UK-based punk festival marketed as an “anti-racist” and “decolonial” event, is drawing growing international attention —…

The Elder Scrolls Online Announces 2026 Seasonal Model Because Paying for One Expansion Was Clearly Too Easy
Breaking, Games News

The Elder Scrolls Online Announces 2026 Seasonal Model Because Paying for One Expansion Was Clearly Too Easy

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: The Elder Scrolls Online Just Dumped Its Entire Identity and Replaced It With a Loot Box Casino 🎰💥…

Minneapolis Mayor Breaks Silence on Fatal ICE Shooting—Spoiler Alert: It’s Not About the Weather
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Minneapolis Mayor Breaks Silence on Fatal ICE Shooting—Spoiler Alert: It’s Not About the Weather

Big ElephantJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

Another Leftist Martyr Created by “ICE Nazis” – Because Apparently White Supremacists Can’t Even Shoot Straight Anymore In a stunning…

House Oversight Hearing on Minnesota Fraud Allegations Turns Into Shouting Match Theater and Partisan Soap Opera. Here Are the Hilarious Takeaways
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

House Oversight Hearing on Minnesota Fraud Allegations Turns Into Shouting Match Theater and Partisan Soap Opera. Here Are the Hilarious Takeaways

Big ElephantJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

Minnesota Democrats Got Caught With Their Hands in the Cookie Jar – Again! In a stunning turn of events that…

DHS: Woman Tried to Turn ICE Officers Into Roadkill in Minneapolis, Then Things Got Bullet-y
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DHS: Woman Tried to Turn ICE Officers Into Roadkill in Minneapolis, Then Things Got Bullet-y

Big ElephantJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

President Trump, the undisputed king of truth and justice, has once again proven why he’s the only one who can…

Trump officials hustle to pitch Venezuela scheme to eye-rolling lawmakers and oil barons who’d rather drink crude than believe this nonsense
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump officials hustle to pitch Venezuela scheme to eye-rolling lawmakers and oil barons who’d rather drink crude than believe this nonsense

Big ElephantJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

Trump’s Venezuela Oil Heist: When ‘Making America Great Again’ Means Stealing Everyone Else’s Stuff In a move that would make…

NIHR Career Ladder: Climbing the Research Ranks Without a Safety Net
Events

NIHR Career Ladder: Climbing the Research Ranks Without a Safety Net

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 7, 2026

🚨BREAKING: NIHR summons research peasants to a 3.5-hour webinar to hear how you too can become a ‘starving academic’! 🚨…

Babylon Bee

Democrats Once Again Threaten Civil War To Stop Republicans From Taking Away Their Slave Laborers

FinnJanuary 7, 2026

    MINNEAPOLIS, MN — For the second time in American history, Democrats are threatening civil war if Republicans do not…

Babylon Bee

8 Perfect New Jobs For Tim Walz

FinnJanuary 7, 2026

    With the announcement that he is withdrawing from the Minnesota governor’s race, Tim Walz is on the hunt for…

Babylon Bee

Family Stages Intervention Over 40-Year-Old Dad’s Skinny Jeans

FinnJanuary 7, 2026

    DANSVILLE, NY — The Rodgers family reportedly recruited a social worker to help moderate what turned out to be…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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