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Day: January 28, 2026

“Global Leaders Finally Agree on Something: Earth Is Flat”
Events

“Global Leaders Finally Agree on Something: Earth Is Flat”

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

CURSO Quer descobrir o próximo Messi enquanto toma o pequeno-almoço? 🐐🥣 A ProScout ensina-te a transformar “aquele miúdo que corre…

POST MALONE, SLASH, DUFF MCKAGAN And CHAD SMITH Unite To Do A Half-Decent Impression Of OZZY OSBOURNE At The 2026 GRAMMYs
Breaking, Music News

POST MALONE, SLASH, DUFF MCKAGAN And CHAD SMITH Unite To Do A Half-Decent Impression Of OZZY OSBOURNE At The 2026 GRAMMYs

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Oh great, another Grammy tribute, because what the world really needs is more middle-aged men in leather jackets pretending they…

Democrats demand major overhaul to ICE, as government shutdown risk skyrockets
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democrats demand major overhaul to ICE, as government shutdown risk skyrockets

Big ElephantJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Democrats Play Chicken with Government Shutdown, Again In a stunning display of partisan brinksmanship, Congressional Democrats are threatening to shut…

Trump Tries to Make Economy Great Again, but His Math Skills Might Not Cooperate
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Tries to Make Economy Great Again, but His Math Skills Might Not Cooperate

Big ElephantJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Breaking: Trump’s Economy is a Dumpster Fire Wrapped in a Stock Market Mirage The Cheeto-in-Chief jetted off to Iowa this…

“Government Shutdown: The Epic Saga of How We All Pretend to Care While the World Burns”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“Government Shutdown: The Epic Saga of How We All Pretend to Care While the World Burns”

Big ElephantJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Washington is once again staring down the barrel of a government shutdown—and this time, it’s the Democrats’ fault. With Senate…

Events

L’audio dans les musées : des innovations qui font plus de bruit que les visiteurs!

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

Audio dans les musées : la révolution sonore qui va vous faire… écouter ! Imaginez un audioguide qui traduit en…

Events

DOM DOLLA – San Jose Street Party or How to Turn Your Neighborhood Into a Club Without a Permit

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

🚨🚨 SOLD OUT, BUT KEEP DREAMING, LOSERS! 🚨🚨 JOIN THE WAITLIST HERE: https://domdolla.lnk.to/SanJoseWaitlist (because hope is free) FOR RESELL +…

Events

“Menopause 101: Because Your Hormones Deserve a Break (and So Do You)”

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

Menopause 101: Because Who Needs Sleep Anyway? 😴🔥 The SOGC is here to save the day (and your sanity) with…

“Local Heroes or Just Overworked? The Comedy of Caring for the Chronically Complicated”
Events

“Local Heroes or Just Overworked? The Comedy of Caring for the Chronically Complicated”

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

⚠️ Warning: This webinar might actually make you want to get sick just to experience “effective neighbourhood health approaches.” Attention,…

How to Spot the Telltale Signs of Child Sexual Abuse: A Parent’s Guide to Not Being Clueless
Events

How to Spot the Telltale Signs of Child Sexual Abuse: A Parent’s Guide to Not Being Clueless

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

Attention all professionals! 🚨 Only 1 in 3 abused children speaks up! 😱 That’s right, kids are apparently better at…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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